Cool Jedi Powers

This has got to be one of the coolest videos of Jedi ever created. This is a tech demo that was shown at this year's E3 for an unannounced starwars game. I can't quite figure out the era though. It is either between ep.3 and 4 or post 4. Although being a tech demo it may not relate to any specific game or era. Anyway check it out here.

I recommend viewing the larger format. There is a lot of detail that can be missed.

And you wonder why the cheese loves San Francisco?

Aside from the mild climate one gets from being surrounded by water on three sides (and it's really only foggy in the Sunset and Richmond...well, mostly the Sunset and Richmond), and the general "urbanness," the city (and by city the cheese means, city government) tends to do stuff like this more often than most other places.

Movie Reviews

Monster House

The cheese and momma cheese decided to spend the sweltering late Sunday afternoon in the comfort of a large environment controlled box and headed down to the local googleplex. The nearest starting film was Monster House, which momma cheese wanted to see anyway, and we quickly ushered our way into theatre. Overall, the cheese is getting sick of all the cg animated films being produced (sidenote: just because you're "famous" does not mean you are entitled to voice a character in a cg film, that's right Martin Lawrence, the cheese is talking to you!) but this one was actually quite good. It wasn't the greatest thing ever, it ran a fairly predictable plot. From about the 5th second it's evident that the supposed "bad guy" is not, in fact, "bad." But the animation is in a more realistic style than, say, Pixar, though not like that crappy Final Fantasy film. More importantly, the three main characters (which are kids) are pretty realized (well, maybe not Chowder). Some of the sequences at the end are actually pretty inventive, when the house starts to "go crazy." Plus, the voice cameos are actually done well (i.e. they're understated). Overall, the cheese rates Monster House at a solid B-.

Clerks II

Last night the cheese finally made his way to see the new Kevin Smith offering. Look, the cheese loves Kevin Smith. In fact, the cheese is even willing to defend Jersey Girl. And on one level, Clerks II delivered pretty much what was expected. Gratuitous cock and pussy jokes, offensive matter, and beastiality. On another level, though, the cheese wonders whether or not Kevin Smith isn't running out of material. The concept of looking at Dante and Randall ten years on is a good one. But the execution seemed lacking. In much the same way as Jay and Silent Bob, the cheese wonders if a Clerks sequel wasn't better as an idea. Remember after Dogma when everyone thought that a Jay and Silent Bob movie would be the greatest thing since Jesus, and then it came out and it was good, but not exactly great. Same thing here (sidenote: the parts of Clerks II with Jay and Silent Bob made the cheese wish for a Jay and Silent Bob movie, until he remembered it was already made). Parts of Clerks II were inspired, but unlike, say Dogma or Chasing Amy, it had a lot of down time, and was the donkey show really necessary. The cheese doesn't object on the ground of content, but rather, it seemed a bit forced. Nice turn on the "Kelly" thing, but overall that whole sequence seemed forced. The film did have a satisfying ending, in that Dante and Randall, as characters, now have some closure. But, where the hell was Justice? Are you honestly telling me that Jay would let her get away? Come on! Either way, Mr. Smith needs to do something like Dogma next. Something that incorporates his "style" without over powering the plot. Final rating B-.

Stephen Colbert: God Among Men

It's a struggle to stay up until midnight now that the cheese is a bit older, and most nights he is not up to the task. Such golden pieces of infotainment are, therefore, inevitably missed. Thank god for the internet.








A small part of the cheese now wishes he could move to Florida to vote for Wexler and his huge testicles.

A Call to Arms

Ho there loyal citizens of Cheeselandia,

Your benevolent overlord is coming to you, faithful followers, and asking for your assistance. It has been nigh on two years since the big cheese began, and yet we are still wallowing in the murky and uninspired format of the blogspot default layout. The cheese has not the time to invest in redesigning the domain, and so it is up to you to help bring about the proper majesty befitting our realm. The cheese has full faith in you citizens, make him proud!




As an aside, that may have been the first time we had two posts up at the same time...Sorry Jezmon, the cheese wanted this on top for a bit...

Simpsons Movie Footage

They showed some footage of the new Simpsons movie over the weekend at Comic Con. Someone was nice enough to put this footage on You Tube. There are 2 different clips. You can check it out here or here.

Lance Bass is gay: nobody cares.

Look, all those 12 year old girls that swooned over N'Sync are now way too old to give a shit. And now he's developing a sit-com pilot where he plays, wait for it....a gay guy! Holy shit! He's a genius! No's done that since Will and Grace ended two months ago.

The baseball season is officially over!

What's that? Wasn't the All-Star game played just two weeks ago? Doesn't the regular season end in September?

Technically.

Yes.

But if you're a true red-blooded citizen of cheeselandia, then for you the baseball season is over because the Dodgers have now lost 7 straight, and 12 of 13 since the mid-summer classic. They sit 6 1/2 games out of first in the NL West, and the only positive thing to have occurred recently is that Odalis Perez was traded (for a pitcher the Dodgers RELEASED at the end of last season).

So now that the Dodgers have no real hope of making the post-season, yet again, we can all turn our collective attention toward Liverpool's title challenge in the Premiership during the upcoming season.

Lego DIY

I got this in my email and had to share it with all of you. Lego now allows you to make your own kits and models. All you have to do is download their builder program. Then design whatever you want(within reason) and upload and purchase the blocks necessary to build your design. You can even design your own box and instructions. Anyway you can check it all out here.

Adidas is back, baby!

After a 10 year affair with Reebok, Liverpool have come back to their true love, Adidas. The new jerseys are, in the cheese' humble opinion, f*****g awesome! He's even willing to overlook the collar on the home kit because the stripes adorning the shirt, shorts and socks is pretty much the best thing ever. The keeper's away kit is quite sweet as well. But what's the best of all you ask? The European away kit...it's enough to give the cheese a sportsgasm!

And it's still slow at work...

Once the cheese leads his army out of the wastes of cheeselandia to smother the worlds superpowers in a thick gooey coating of melted cheddar, he will abolish all meaningless and soul sucking occupations, such as they are.

Until that day, however, the cheese is forced to wile away the hours traipsing through the daisy patch we all know as "the internet."

It may be illegal to post copyrighted content here, but something tells the cheese that:

1. not enough people read this to care
2. the owners will no doubt feel little (if any) anger or competition from the cheese
3. since it is readily accessible, it's probably cool

So, thanks Tycho and Gabe, your archive is like walking into a candy store blind and randomly grabbing the first thing your grubby hand clenches. But thankfully, all the shite stuff like candy corn has been removed from said store...

Someone doesn't like being called out...

But at least it got her to accept the invitation...so everyone take a moment to welcome our newest member in your hearts and minds. Just two more to go...

And even though she doesn't need the advertising (just take a look at the number of comments on her posts) the cheese is taking this moment to spotlight The Hot Librarian, who he hears is pretty hot.

Fallen

ABC Family is not a station normally on view in the cheese household, though with the impending birth of the princess, it may soon become a "favorite." Last night, though, was one of those rare occasions when it was intentionally watched because of the made for TV movie Fallen.

Basically, it was the story of a Nephalim, the supposed offspring of an angel and human, who would fulfill some prophecy to do something, blah, blah, blah.

For a made for TV movie on a fourth rate station it was actually pretty decent. The opening fight scene may have been the best part (for a movie about angels there wasn't a whole lot of flaming sword fights), but overall it was fairly compelling. Momma cheese wondered if this wasn't the lead in to a new series, and once the credits ended, in fact, a preview ran of a six hour mini-series continuing this story that will air in the summer of 2007?! Why even show this one if the audience has to wait another year for the next installment? This isn't a motion picture release people! The TV audience doesn't have a long memory. No doubt when the next part airs the cheese will miss it, and then curse the executives at ABC Family for showing each part a year removed from each other.

Word Verification is On

Spread the word...ANYONE CAN COMMENT!!! Not that anyone reads this thing. And there's still a few people who have been extended member invites and not responded. The cheese won't mention any names...Kerri, Leroy and Bridget...but you know who you are!

Congratulations

Since Jezmon and exsulis have actually taken an interest in posting on the blog, the cheese has decreed that they are now administrators. Be nice or they could kick your ass out of the land of the cheese!

9-26-06

The time is coming. Best prepare yourselves as best you can. For what? For this.

Further evidence that one day Earth will look like the world of Shadowrun

Spinons and holons, theoretically believed to exist for awhile, have now been directly observed. Bring on the nanotech implants!

We're like bona fide and shit!

Big ups to Jezmon.

His post on Harry Potter was picked up by the Poor Mojo Newswire, whose readership is quite higher than ours.

Thanks for the shout out Mojo. By the by, if you're still reading this send the cheese an e-mail as he can't seem to locate your electronic mail address.

Lest ye faithful followers think the cheese has abandoned his quest...

Here are a few random quotes from The Chronicles Part III

--The upshot of this, though, was that Lawrence became fully aware of the angels and released a squeal not unlike that of a teenage girl watching a horror film before shouting “Oh Christ, angels are coming to kill us!”

--Grisenweld nodded and extended his hand, “Well, it has been my pleasure Michael of the Host. You are by far the least annoying angel I have ever met.”

--Either something was going to happen with it, or it wouldn’t. Either proposition appealed to Pyle with only a pedestrian amount of enthusiasm.

--Having not eaten The Entity’s cooking in quite some time, Cransenslaus’ eyebrows piqued up at the mention of the impending Soufflé.

J.K. Rowling the next Dickens or Conan Doyle??

I don't know how true the above statement is but James Krasner(expert in British Victorian lit.) draws a few comparisons. He puts in his 2 cents about who is going to die in the last Harry Potter book. He also backs up a theory put forward by our own Suavo and the almighty Cheese.

Those Italians Don't Mess Around or It's Horribly Slow at Work Today

Something that the cheese didn't talk about much during the world cup was the on going "match fixing" scandal in Italy. There were three reasons for this: it was still an ongoing investigation, the cheese didn't think Italy would win it all and the cheese doubted anything would come of it.

Oh how the cheese did underestimated those Italian investigators!

Juventes, Lazio and Fiorentina were all dropped from Serie A to Serie B (and given 30, 12, and 7 point penalties respectively), and AC Milan was given a 15 point penalty to start the season and denied taking place in any European competitions.

The cheese will pause at this point to explain a few things.

First off, unlike in American sports, when you play badly in European Football you pay, and not just by attracting less fans. It differs for each country/league, but basically the two or three worst teams, at the end of the season, drop down into a lower league the following year (with a corresponding number of teams being promoted from below).

Juventes have won the Italian Serie A title 29 times (sidenote: their last two title were stripped in the sentence so now it's 27) and never, since the club's creation in 1897, played below the top tier. Add to that the 30 point penalty assessed them (that means they have to win 10 games, out of 40, just to get to zero) and they probably won't get promoted next season.

This whole thing is basically like Major League Baseball forcing the Yankees, Orioles and A's to play in AAA next year, and then assessing the Yankees 30 losses to start the season.

13 of the 29 players from Italy's World Cup squad are currently on the Juventes roster. No doubt most of those players will be leaving the club to play in the top flight of other countries, making it that much harder for Juve to make it back to Serie A.

It's a really surprising decision, in that it actually punished these teams (sidenote: no players have been implicated, only club officials and refs). No one knows exactly how organized crime figures into various parts of European football, but it's nice to see justice done in this case. That is, of course, unless the sentencing is overturned on appeal...

An Open Letter to U.S. Soccer Federation President Sunil Gulati

Dr. President Gulati,

The cheese would like to take this opportunity to formally submit his name for the recently vacant position of U.S. Men's Head Coach. Now, the cheese understands that over the next few months many names will considered, as some have already speculated as to who might succeed Bruce Arena. And names like Klinsman and Scolari are indeed impressive. Think for a moment, though, about whether the U.S. national team, at this moment, needs a big name coach with an international reputation for winning? Your initial reaction may be to say YES! But the cheese is confident that if you just take a few moments you might begin to see that he is the right man for the job:

--The cheese is unknown
While choosing the cheese may cause some uproar in the media (but, really, how much coverage does the U.S. Soccer team get?), it will also immediately lower expectations for the national team. You are no doubt committed to ensuring that the national squad to continue to improve, but this team has a history of failing when expectations are moderate to high (1998 and 2006), and performing well when expectations are low or non-existent (1994 and 2002). Let the cheese' complete lack of experience and credibility play to the overall benefit of the national squad.

--The cheese doesn't actually watch a lot of American soccer
In your heart of hearts, President Gulati, you have to know that the MLS is a sub-standard league. That's not to say it isn't important. Gone, thankfully, are the days when the U.S. fielded college kids, semi-pros, and one or two naturalized citizens. But, overall, the MLS isn't a place to go if you want to watch high quality, fast-paced, skillful football. It's getting better, no doubt (anybody remember the San Jose Clash?) but it's still got a ways to go. The construction of soccer specific stadiums is great, and the cheese is looking forward to the day when he can go to a game in his native country rather than getting up at 4 AM on a Saturday to watch an EPL match. What does any of this have to do with coaching the national squad you may be asking yourself. Well, for starters, it means the cheese has no loyalty to any U.S. players. Nearly all of them ply their trade in the MLS (yes, yes, Beasley, Keller, Convey, Onyenwu, etc.), and those that don't are so scattered throughout Europe that it's very difficult to watch them all play on a consistent basis. That means that in a tournament like the World Cup, the cheese would be more likely to field players who are training well at the time rather than those that have played well in the past. Arena's insistence to stick with Beasley and Donovan who underperformed throughout the tournament is just one reason it's good he's gone. And don't point to Donovan's play against Italy, that was an aberration of a match in all ways. In fact, the cheese wished for Donovan to have a standout tournament and prove all his detractors wrong. But it seems time and time again he can't really perform when it's needed (or in Europe at all). But what about 2002 you might ask. Yes, let us recall in the quarterfinal match when Donovan successfully nutmegged his way to being 8 yards from the goal with only the goalie to beat and he chunked it (yes, Kahn was in rare form that year, but come on, the cheese could've scored in that situation for christ's sake!). Look, if someone isn't playing well, then they don't get to play. Sure, everyone can have an off game, but when you're in the World Cup off games can't occur.

--The cheese has no philosophy
One of the things that made Arena successful in 2002 was the fact that he approached each game with the opponent in mind. The U.S. team that beat Mexico in the round of 16 was completely different, tactics wise, then the team that came out against Germany and nearly won (or should have, but for Donovan, see above). For some reason, though, after the ass pounding handed out by the Czech's in game one, Arena still fielded the same formation and playing style. He mixed up the squad a bit, but it was obvious that no U.S. team playing in a 4-5-1 was going to get it done in the toughest group in the tournament. The cheese knows you while you gotta play to your strengths (though that requires first IDENTIFYING them), you have have to exploit your opponents weaknesses. Arena ran out a team that looked like they were facing the Columbus Crew in all three tournament matches.

--The cheese really wants the job
Sure, whoever you hire will want the job, but the cheese doubts anyone would be as grateful or excited about it as he. And were he awarded the job, the cheese promises to due his all, work his hardest and take all steps necessary to ensure the improvement of the national team for the 2 weeks that he has the job.

Why is FX the best channel on TV?

Well, maybe not the best, since Fox Soccer Channel is replaying last season's Liverpool matches on the weeknights (yeah!), but FX is pretty damn good. That Sunny in Philadelphia thing the cheese has only caught snippets of, but it seems solid, and on tonight so a definite decision to continue to watch will be made. But more than that, FX has 30 days, coming back in a couple weeks, and Rescue Me.

30 is, without a doubt, the best reality show ever. And the cheese hasn't even seen every episode, but that's how good it is. Fear Factor, please!

Rescue Me, though, may be the best show on TV. But what about Lost, or Veronica Mars, the cheese hears you saying. Well, they are damn good, damnitty damnit! But have you seen Rescue Me? It's a funny, hard-boiled, serious, touching ass show with just a hint of fantasy (since the main character sees, and converses with, the ghost of his dead cousin). Plus, when have you ever seen a drugged out fireman steal a bunny?

Snakes on a Plane

The cheese isn't exactly sure why every one and his mother with an internet connection has a hard on for this movie...the cheese remembers when it was called Deep Blue Sea and had sharks, or when it had J-Lo and a riverboat and was called Anaconda, or when it was made by a real director and not stuck in a tube and called Birds. But one thing is for sure, it does have a catchy ass theme song. All of the cheese' instincts make him want to dislike the song; it's over produced and formulaic, and the band looks like they answered a Black Eyed Peas look alike casting call, but the cheese still likes it...go figure.

In other music news, Kevin and Bean played a song from the upcoming second Killers album and it sounded decidedly awesome. The album isn't due until October, but at this point it looks to be solid. And that's good, cause the first one rocked out with its cock out and there would be nothing more depressing than a weak follow-up.

World Cup Wrap

Well, the 2006 version has come and gone, and Italy are now 4 time winners. In light of the cheese' horrible prediction rate with the semi's he decided not to post predictions for the 3rd place and final games. But, of course, what he believed would happen in those did come to pass, but with a few surprises.

The 3-1 Germany victory was pretty much expected, and nice to see after Cristiano Ronaldo's crap performance in the quarterfinals against England.

To say the final was interesting might qualify as the understatement of the year.

France was a big underdog going in, even though they had been so in nearly every match. In eight games the only team to score on Italy was Italy (an own goal against U.S.), and France hadn't exactly been lighting up the score boards. But a 1-1 tie after regulation and overtime was not expected.

More than that, though, no one could have predicted French Captain Zinedine Zidane head butt an Italian defender just 10 minutes before the end of his last international match. Zizou has been mum on what words were exchanged, though the rumor is that Materazzi made some sort of racial/religious slur (Zidane is of Algerian descent, and the cheese' believes he is also a Muslim, though this could have been pulled out of the cheese' ass). Even still, Zidane still won the Golden Ball, awarded to the tournament's overall best player (sidenote: Germany's Klose won the Golden Boot with 5 goals, 10 overall in his two world cups). A bit of a sad way for Zidane to go out, but the spectacle was awesome to watch.

World Cup, Quarterfinal Review -- Semifinal Preview

Results

Day 1 basically followed what the cheese foretold.


Match #1
Germany 1 -- Argentina 1 Germany advances 4-2 on penalties
An early second half goal by Argentina was equalized late by Germany's Klose (the tournaments highest scorer thus far, and he's positioned to win the golden boot) in a tightly contested match. Argentina are no doubt ruing the loss of first choice keeper as the game went to penalties and Germany's Lehmann confidently blocked two. The cheese called it, and you heard it here first, Germany will win this tournament.

Match #2
Italy 3 -- Ukraine 0
Damn Ukrainians couldn't find even one goal to bring the cheese's prediction perfect!




Day 2, sadly, did not go the way the cheese had hoped.

Match #3
England 0 -- Portugal 0 Portugal advance 3-1 on penalties
Yes, the cheese called the game being decided by PK's, but he got the result wrong. Really, though, since the second game of the group stage the cheese had tabbed Portugal as a favorite, but his heart got in the way and he picked England. Should have known better. Sadly, too, this was the best performance England put in the entire tournament, but Wayne Rooney, apparently, can ever control himself and just HAD to step on someone's groin. Add a second half injury to Becks, and the death nell had tolled for the Three Lions.

Match #4
France 1 -- Brazil 0
Since the tournament began the cheese numerous people at the cheese' place of employment have asked his opinion on which teams looked good. And every time he's said that Brazil has not impressed, and every time people have been unbelieving. Look, they came through a ridiculously easy group, and round of 16 match up. They finally came up against a real team (sure, one with an average player age of 653, but a real team nonetheless) and got beat. And yes, the cheese called this one in favor of Brazil, but this is less a surprise to the cheese than the French win over Spain (a country who had been playing well!).

So the Semifinal matchups are

Germany v Italy
Italy have been solid and efficient (almost as if they're German), and Germany have been high flying and exciting (almost as if they're anyone other than the Germans). At this point, Germany seems nearly unstoppable, though the strong Italian defense could, theoretically, do it. They could, but they won't. Podolski and Klose are just two games away from sainthood in deutschland, and no stinkin Italians are going to stop them.
Predicted result -- Germany 3 - Italy 1

France v Portugal
Look, of all the teams left, France have to be the sentimental favorites. It's the international swan song for Zidane, Viera, Thuram, Barthez and Trezuget, so it's fitting they'll go out in a bang. But just how much do they have left? Probably not enough to beat a Portugal team that's looked night unstoppable. The cheese' heart will be with Les Blues, but they're on target for a third place medal, which would still be quite an accomplishment.
Predicted result -- Portugal 2 - France 1