the big cheese

They should have used Buddy Christ

2008-02-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

This just made me laugh

2008-01-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

Turn signals on a Landraider

2007-12-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

Now if only the empire could really do this.

just plain bored

2007-11-12T14:35:00.000-08:00

Now can you immagine having that covering your entire desktop?

Map of the Green Valley lake slide fire

2007-10-25T17:02:00.000-07:00

This was last updated yesterday but I'd like to note it anyway. The red is stuff that burned, the blue lines are the houses confirmed as okay. While the white lines denote that the firefighters haven't made it there, and they don't know yet.

Great conversations of the Day

2007-10-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

Conversation #1

Employee #1 "ts all your fault."

Employee #2 "It couldn't have been me."

Employee #1 "How isn't it your fault?"

Employee #2 " Because I'm too lazy to have done it."

Conversation #2

Employee #1 "Bah, Killograms!! How many pounds are in a killogram?"

Employee #2 "I don't know let me think about it."

Me "Sheeze, one killogram is roughly equal to 2.2 pounds."

Employeese #1 & 2 "How did you know that?"

Me "Its the kind of thing you learn in high school physics."

Employee #1 "Oh"

Employee #2 "Well then, how many killograms is a 180 pounds?"

Me "About 90 killograms."

Employee #1 "No, it should be about 360 killograms."

Me "How did you figure that?"

Employee #1 "Oh, I was multipling, no wonder I was always loosing money!!"

Thank God this show is gone

2007-10-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

Viva Laughlin is gone!!!

hmm, did these people came from the future?

2007-10-01T23:40:00.000-07:00

From a RJ Q&A see post below

Question:

After reading a book like Misery by Stephen King I think that I would be terrified to be a writer. What has been your creepiest experience with a fan?

Robert Jordan Answers:

I haven’t had any creepy experiences with fans unless you count the bikers who came to a signing after hearing a rumor – untrue -- that I was in very bad health and threatened to desecrate my grave if I died before finishing the books. That was a little on the odd side, especially since they looked as if they might desecrate graves for a hobby. On the whole, my fans seem to be pretty sane. No freeze dried cats as presents. No requests for autographs in blood. Oh, a few women have volunteered to have my baby, but that’s a whole different thing.

And there was much sadness

2007-09-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

To all that have read the Wheel of Time series Robert Jordan has passed away from a very rare blood disease September 16th.

The first hive city I mean Arcology

2007-08-30T19:52:00.000-07:00

The X-Seed 4000 is the tallest building ever fully envisioned, meaning that the designs for construction have been completed. However, due to excessive projected costs, the structure has not been constructed.

Its proposed 4 kilometer (13,123 foot) height, 6 kilometre wide sea-base, and 800 floor capacity could accommodate five hundred thousand to one million inhabitants.

It was designed for Tokyo, Japan by the Taisei Corporation in 1995[1] as a futuristic environment combining ultra-modern living and interaction with nature.[2]

Unlike conventional skyscrapers, the X-Seed 4000 would be required to actively protect its occupants from considerable air pressure gradations and weather fluctuations along its massive elevation. Its design calls for the use of solar power to maintain internal environmental conditions.

A sea-based location and a Mount Fuji shape are some of this building's other major design features — the real Mount Fuji is land-based and is 3.8 kilometers in height, nearly 213 m (700 feet) shorter than X-Seed 4000.

Some estimate that the cost to construct the X-Seed 4000 structure may be somewhere between US$300-900 billion, in current dollars.

I doubt this will work just from a stable geography point of view of Japan.

This time for real.

2007-08-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

OK, the cheese is willing to admit when he's wrong...or in this case, premature. But now, really, NOW, go check out this site. It's a work in progress that you're benevolent overlord's alter ego is, um, working on.

So go NOW!

Guess, I'm some kinda of crazy robot thingy

2007-08-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

Get Your Cyborg Name

Behold and kneel in love and fear!

2007-07-26T09:18:00.000-07:00

The day has finally come faithful citizens, the day you have all been awaiting anxiously (even if, ahem, you didn't know you were awaiting it).

Bow down in reverence before the glory of

NORMALITY RESTORED

Harry Potter is DEAD!

2007-07-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Well, maybe not dead in the "he's died" way...but the series is over (though Rowling said recently, when asked if she would ever write another HP book, "never say never").

So the cheese wonders what all you faithful citizens thought of "Deathly Hallows." Your benevolent overlord will expound his opinion down yonder, so look away if you haven't finished it yet....

Let's start with the deaths. The cheese has to admit that he suspected Lupin was going to bite the dust, and at least one of the Weasleys. So, no shocks there. Once it became clear that Tonks was pregnant, the cheese really didn't think she would go also, but that heartless Rowling likes to kill of sets of parents, apparently. As for Mad-Eye, can't say it was a big surprise, although coming so early in the book it really set the tone for the rest of the novel. As for Dobby, well, that might have been one of the biggest shocks in the whole series...and possibly the saddest moment.

And what about Snape? Well, it wasn't that big of a shock. Perhaps the mode of his death, bitten by Nagini, was a good twist. But everyone and his brother knew that Snape was good, probably had been in love with Harry's mom, and would do something important to help Harry in the last installment. Rowling did a good job of fulfilling those expectations, but then moving beyond them. Sure lot's of people figured Snape was in love with Lily, but who guessed they knew each other before Hogwarts, that Snape was the one to tell Lily of her true power, that they would be "best friends" even while at Hogwarts? And reflecting back on the series, Rowling played the balance of Snape wanting to protect Harry against Snape's anguish that Harry was Lily's child from another man (one whom Snape despised) really well. And Snape becomes, as one might expect, a fairly empathetic character. And what Harry says about him at the close of the book is true. Snape was damn courageous. Not only for what he did for the Order, but to come to Dumbledore in the first place. Really, even if you had doubts about Snape, once you found out his punishment to Neville, Luna and Ginny (for trying to steal the fake sword of Gryffindor) was to send them into the forbidden forest with Hagrid, well, come on, Harry and Malfoy had the same punishment when they were FIRST YEARS!

And Dumbledore....here, really was Rowling's masterstroke. The background and history on Dumbledore was necessary. If all we had ever seen of him was the wise, venerable, and caring old sorcerer of the first books then he'd have, essentially, been just a plot device with a soothing voice. But we see a real man, one of immense power who struggled in his youth to properly understand and harness his power. One who, in immaturity, caused loss had to deal with the outcome of his actions for his whole life. It's nice because, like every other character in the books, Dumbledore is portrayed just as humanly as Harry or anyone else. In book Six, we were given a peek into Voldemort's past, and those things that helped to shape him, and book Seven gives the same look into Dumbledore. What you realize, though, is that Rowling is championing every individual's choices as what sets one person as good or evil. Dumbledore could have easily turned into Grindelwald or Voldemort, but he chose to be a teacher instead. And we sympathize with Harry's anger at Dumbledore. We want our heroes, especially those like Dumbledore, to be good and pure and perfect, and we are quick to anger when they fail to meet our expectations, but Harry, by the story's end, comes to the realization that the best anyone can do is try and do what they believe is right.

All in all, Rowling is an engaging writer, and the book read well. In fact, the action was so strong in this one, that it seemed to read even faster than the shorter novels. And while much of it was predictable it ended, really, in the only way it could.

Wizard Rock

2007-07-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while something comes along that restores the cheese small faith in humanity...and with the impending Harry Potter Pandemonium set to be released on the mass populace at 12:01 AM Saturday (local time), the cheese' introduction to Wizard Rock couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.

Special thanks to Gilgrim (wait...you don't know Gilgrim well, shit ladies, go find out) for the tip, list, and assorted synopses...

"WRock Awesomeness

Tom Riddle And Friends

http://www.myspace.com/tomriddleandfriends
well harmonized acoustic pseudo-folk

The Weird Sisters (aka Switchblade Kittens)

http://www.myspace.com/theweirdsisters
Shroud flavored uptempo, bass/keyboard heavy darkwave –old school electro-pop-goth. Very well produced and mastered (tone similar to Dressy Betsy).

theTonks

http://www.myspace.com/thetonks
Folk, acoustic female band with well trained and controlled vocals – and nice arrangements. Mellow, and polished.

The Remus Lupins

http://www.myspace.com/theremuslupins
Indie – folk – pop, with digital/early electro influences. Voice reminiscent of early Nim Vind.

The Hufflepunks

http://www.myspace.com/hufflepunx
Old school pop-punk with influences from two-tone, the specials and some early Oingo and random Gnarles Barkley and hip-hop influences (read: Beck).

The Hinky Punks

http://www.myspace.com/hinkypunx
indie-folk-accoustic / emo. Early, early Weezer tones and feedback electric guitar. Melodies reminiscent of early Deathcab.

Ginny and the HeartBreakers

http://www.myspace.com/ginnyandtheheartbreakers
Lo-fi Le Tigre influenced acoustic punk with indie electro influences. Bonus points for making ref to Daniel Radcliffe’s performance in La Equis.

The Fizzing Whizbees

http://www.myspace.com/thefizzingwhizbees
Punk lo-fi inspired, male version of Le Tigre with more acoustic stylings and a folk sensibility in the lyrics.

The Cruciatus Curse

http://www.myspace.com/thecruciatus
Listed as metal but much closer to mid-year industrial and a light version of Acumen Nation. Goth influenced, pop-industrial, with a bent to more old-school electronica.

Severely Snaped

http://www.myspace.com/severelysnapedwizardrock
Classic rock influenced metal/hard rock. Pulling musical stylings and their visual presence from the darker side of the early-mid seventies rock scene – some obvious influences from early goth acts like Christian Death with some Judas and Maiden thrown in for fun.

Roonil Wazlib

http://www.myspace.com/roonilwazlibrock
Accoustic –solo-guitar-comedic-folk. Female vocalist, 90’s era coffee-shoppe bo-ho pseudo-hippie/fem-rock natural sounding vocals and interesting timber. (Voted best new artist 2007- Wizrocklopedia People’s Choice Awards)

Remus and the Lupins

http://www.myspace.com/remusandthelupins
Pop-experimental electro influenced. Heavy voice modulation, basic, but consitent and light-hearted programming showing some influences from very late 70’s early 80’s arrangements by electric bands like Manheim Steam Roller. (from UK)

Ginny and the Weasleys

http://www.myspace.com/hermioneandthegrangers
Ecclectic weirdness as the first ‘virtual band’ in Wrock (inspired by the Gorilllaz) with all songs from Ginny’s perspective (female vocalist) – bizarre range of synth sounds similar to Stephanie / early mid 80’s idol pop from Japan.

Bella and the Death Eaters

http://www.myspace.com/bellaandthedeatheaters
Accoustic folk-emo – two female vocalists with guitar accompaniment. Untrained vocals and melodies – mixed bag…

Potter and the Lightning Bolts

http://www.myspace.com/potterandthelightningbolts
Pop-punk rock, with polished production, lo-fi garage sound and good arrangements with variations towards acoustic/comedy-folk.

The Quidditch Pitch Incident

http://www.myspace.com/thequidditchpitchincident
Accoustic reverse white-stripes dynamic with female lead vocalist, arrangements closer to Dressy Betsy/Le Tigre – lo-fi recording and mastering, perhaps purposefully awkward(?).

Dobby and the House Elves

http://www.myspace.com/dobbyandthehouseelves
Electronic influenced pop-rock. Well arranged, decently produced. Lyrics and melodies are reminiscent of folk (Simon and Garfunkle) and early hip-hop (Grandmaster Flash / Blondie) mixed with a range spreading from early electronica and funk heavy 70’s disco/modern house and Moby/Fatboy Slim. Voice modulated for elfish quality.

The Fleur Delacours

http://www.myspace.com/thefleurdelacours
Le Tigre inspired female–indie-avante punk, smashed with plenty of cowbell, garage recording, and energy.

Mostly Muggles

http://www.myspace.com/mostlymuggles
Garage rock influenced jam-rock band. Stylings vary from old-school rock/blues and rockabilly to jam-styled 70’s garage with super lo-fi recording and production.

Draco and the Malfoys

http://www.myspace.com/dracoandthemalfoysusa
Similar to a slower more acoustic/basic electric version of They Might Be Giants.

Dumbledork

http://www.myspace.com/dumbleeedork
Lo-fi electronica/experimental. Well produced, breakbeat influences and solid electro-clash, with some more progressive and industrial flourishes, reminiscent of Psychic TV. Very nicely produced, mostly instrumental- some arrangements sound like earl john carpenter or Goblin scores.

DJ Luna Lovegood

http://www.myspace.com/djlovegood
Experimental –electro-heavy punk-folk. Well arranged, with some early goth smatterings. Ecclectic mixes with guitar – electric/acoustic, bass and samples.

Voldemort – Wizard Metal

http://www.myspace.com/voldemorttruemetal
Basic metal inspired – pseudo horror punk comedy act.

The Mudbloods

http://www.myspace.com/mudbloods
Well polished indie-folk with electric overtones. Good arrangements and melodies, vocals reminiscent of Deathcab.

Death Eaters Anon

http://www.myspace.com/deatheatersanon
Comedic similar to Doctor Demento. Eclectic hodge-podge some influences ranging from Swithblade Symphony and Rasputina.

Sir Nick

http://www.myspace.com/nearlyheadlessnick
Electronica, sample heavy, experimental, not always well arranged or mixed, more underground DIY, obvious loops from Acid. Uneven, but with some promise, with the more ethereal songs.

For more Wizard Rock goodness - http://wizardrock.org/"

allofmp3.com We Hardly Knew Ye

2007-07-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

So sometime around the 2nd of July the cheese favorite music site, allofmp3.com went down. The same thing happened last May, though the site made it back up. This time, though, it appears that the Russian government pulled the plug.

In case you don't know what allofmp3 is/was, the cheese'll break it down for you.

The average cost of a single music track on itunes is .99 cents, and an album is 9.99. Now, allofmp3 would sell tracks for .15 cents (yeah, that right FIFTEEN CENTS) and albums for around 3 or 4 dollars. The really great thing about allofmp3, though, was the options. You could buy a track for fifteen cents, but that might be a 128 kb bitrate, or you could spend fifty cents on 256 kb track, etc. And you weren't only limited to mp3's, they had something like 7 different file type options. Also, they didn't put and DMR encoding on any of their tracks, so once you downloaded a track, it was yours forever. The best thing about it, though, was that since the company was operated out of Russia, they had a lot of music from outside the US, specifically from Europe and England. So you weren't stuck with the crap you hear on suck-ass US radio.

Now, allofmp3 was a Russian company, and operated legally within Russian copyright law. Of course, because these laws are unsavory to both the RIAA and major US recording companies (read: doesn't pay out enough), the RIAA has, for three years, put pressure on the Russian government to shut down allofmp3. They even went so far as filing a 1.64 trillion (yes, trillion with a t) dollar law suit against allofmp3 in NY (a response by an executive at allofmp3's parent company went something like, "they're free to do what they want, but it seems pointless for them to sue us in New York when we operate legally in Russia").

Of course, now the site is down, and will probably not be back. There are similar sites that operate in Russia, and while some offer similar pricing, none have the same huge catalog or as many options as allofmp3 had.

The real sad thing, though, is how much the whole episode illuminates just how out of touch media companies are. Allofmp3 had a huge following of people who would have otherwise just gotten their music illegally (and, freely, the cheese might add), but had no problem paying for stuff at allofmp3. By forcing allofmp3 to go down, the RIAA simply made this large group of people even more pissed about having to pay for content. Rather than actually working with the Russian government, allofmp3 itself, and the artists to find a reasonable compromise that would allow allofmp3 to continue to operate (even if it was at a small price increase), the RIAA decided to be a bunch of dicks.

At some point, the media companies will understand that the old business models no longer work. Digital media/the internet requires that these companies approach royalties and copyright in fundamentally different ways. Obviously, the companies do not want to face the truth, but eventually, after so much money lost on frivolous legal expenditures, they'll figure it out.

Until then, the cheese is going back to bit torrent...or, he would if he had internet at home right now.

From Gabe at PA

2007-07-11T14:42:00.001-07:00

This whole Pokemon leveling thing really reminds me of Chocobo breeding in FF7.

Thanks to everyone who mailed me their Pokemon tips. Every single person who mailed me stressed the importance of EV's and proper EV training over just about everything else. I was given some great links and spent a good chuck of the day yesterday reading everything I could about them.
I'm thirty years old now, and I've been playing games for more than twenty of those. I've seen some real bullshit in all that time and EV's are right up their towards the top of the list. As far as I can tell this is how they work. If your Pokemon fights another Pokemon that's really fast for example, it earns a point towards it's speed Effort Value (EV). For every four of these points that you get your Pokemon will gain one more point to it's speed stat when it levels up. Now each Pokemon awards EV's for different stats and some give points for multiple stats. The problem is that these EV's are invisible and limited. So there's only a certain number of them that a single Pokemon can take advantage of and there's no way to track them in game. I got tips like "create a spreadsheet for each of your Pokemoin with rows for all their stats and manualy enter any EV's they get..."
Create a spreadsheet?
Then I started reading about IV's and I saw this shit:
Now that I've showed how much they can affect stats, let's grab the equation for determining a Pokemon's Individual Value. Keep in mind that this is NOT for Hit Points. That has its own equation.
IV = ((Math.Ceiling(Stat / Personality Value) - 5) * 100 / Level Value ) - 2 * Base Stat – Effort Points / 4
Are you fucking serious? I never got past algebra. All I want to do is show people my Pokemons, not build a Goddamn time machine!
So I started digging into serebii.net yesterday and I got my first glimpse at just how far this rabbit hole goes. I told myself I wasn't going to fall into it but I ended up spending the morning trying to acquire a new Chimchar with the preferred "jolly" nature. Once I'd done that I spent the afternoon EV training him on Ponytas and Machamps. I'm telling you this not because I am proud but because I need help. Someone needs to stop me before I start doing long division to figure out what kind of fucking berry I should feed my shittlesaur.

Yet another reason why cheeselandia may, one day, relocate to the British Isles...

2007-07-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

What the hell is it about pasty white English folk making horribly catchy-ass electronic style musik?

Remember Fatboy Slim?

Well, what about The Streets...

(see how Dave has NO idea who he's introducing...and nice self-censorship by Mr. Skinner)

And everyone's favorite drunken British girl, Lily Allen...

But now all you faithful citizens can add a new artist to those you adore, Scroobius Pip!

Another Potter Prediction

2007-06-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

Here's another idea about how book seven will end. This is theory only and has no grounding in any knowledge of the seventh book.

Keith Olbermann at msnbc has pieced together his own theory of how the book ends. He bases a lot of it on financial concerns, but his final theory incorporates a lot of my own theories and put a spin on it I hadn't thought of. Here it is:

(I'll put a little space in here in case you don't really want to spoil the ending.)

So why not this ending? Harry eliminates all but one of Voldemort’s horcruxes. The dark lord’s life is now reduced to this undulating welt on Harry’s own forehead. To kill Voldemort, Harry must kill himself and is about to, as millions of readers recoil in horror and anger, when who steps out of the shadows but Snape to explain to Harry that there is another way that the last horcrux, Harry’s scar, can be removed, but at one dreadful price. Harry can survive it, but his magical skills cannot. To finally vanquish Voldemort, save Hogwarts and Hermione and Ron, and, in fact the magical world, to say nothing of the J.K. Rowling franchise for decades and generations to come, Harry Potter must give up being a wizard.

So what do we all think?

What to look for when buying a house

2007-06-22T17:59:00.001-07:00

Harry Potter end revealed....

2007-06-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

Or maybe this guy just has his head up his ass. It's hard to understand exactly what he says since, apparently, hackers no longer feel the need to use any semblance of intelligible language, but the gist of it is.....

don't read further if you don't want spoilers....

you're still reading......

maybe these are crap.....

maybe not.....

anyway, Snape kills Hagrid, Voldemort kills Hermoine (who dies to save Ron) and then Ron (possibly, again it's hard to understand this guys synopsis), and Harry ultimately kills Snape and Voldemort.

Seems reasonable enough to the cheese, except the Hermoine thing...well Rowling has said before that she's a lot more "vulnerable" (her exact word) then most people think...so maybe the guy did get something right here. Of course Bloomsbury and Scholastic deny the claims...only time will tell.

Warhammer Forge of War

2007-06-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Warhammer: Forge of War #1
Written By Dan Abnett and Ian EdgintonIllustrated by Tommy CastilloCover by Adrian SmithVariant covers by Tommy Castillo and Imaginary Friends Studio
From the wind-scoured North they’ve come: THE HORDES OF CHAOS, ruthless warriors raised in battle and fanatically devoted to their dark gods. On a hundred-mile front across the Northern fringes of the Empire, the defenses of man and his dwarf allies are crumbling, fear threatens to become panic, and the blood of martyrs runs ankle-deep. Here begins the hopeless quest of a ramshackle band led by a mere Greatsword Sergeant – if, of course, they don’t kill each other first…

This looks to be a 6 book series.

First Thing...

2007-06-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

The cheese just really likes this picture...

And two....have you figured out how to log back in yet Suavo?

Casa de Cheese

2007-06-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

Where all faithful citizens can find refuge and succor.

Wasn't expecting to buy a new vehicle but here goes

2007-06-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

And just about every option know to mankind.