Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sad but true
The cheese is sitting naked on a metal folding chair in the heart of the OC where the current temperature is roughly 900 Fahrenheit...and it occurs to the cheese that sweaty bare flesh has a tendency to stick to metal.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Today
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: Excuse me can you help me?
the cheese: Sure.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: I'm looking for a book.
the cheese: OK, what book.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: I'm looking for books by T.D. Jakes.
the cheese: (walks a few aisles and points at bookshelf) This is where most of the books by T.D. Jakes are located, but if you don't see the specific title you want let me know because some of his stuff is scattered in other sections.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: OK, and are all these books for sale?
the cheese: uh...do you want to know if they're on sale?
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: Nevermind.
the cheese: OK, well let me know if you need anything else.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: So all these books can be purchased?
the cheese: ...Yes...
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: Thank you.
(the cheese walks away shaking his head)
--In other news the cheese had his first graduate level class tonight; American Modern Lit, excellent...
the cheese: Sure.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: I'm looking for a book.
the cheese: OK, what book.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: I'm looking for books by T.D. Jakes.
the cheese: (walks a few aisles and points at bookshelf) This is where most of the books by T.D. Jakes are located, but if you don't see the specific title you want let me know because some of his stuff is scattered in other sections.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: OK, and are all these books for sale?
the cheese: uh...do you want to know if they're on sale?
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: Nevermind.
the cheese: OK, well let me know if you need anything else.
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: So all these books can be purchased?
the cheese: ...Yes...
Misc. "Bookmine" customer: Thank you.
(the cheese walks away shaking his head)
--In other news the cheese had his first graduate level class tonight; American Modern Lit, excellent...
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Find entertainment where you can get it...
Working back at the bookmines doesn't afford a whole lot of "benefits" but they do offer a constant take on the state of the nation.
Take for instance this book. Someone must have been browsing the parenting section, and didn't like what they saw because co-worker of the cheese later found the book misplaced with the following handwritten note inside:
"File under-
lesbian, feminist, propaganda bullshit."
Now here's the great thing about browsing in a book store. There is, guaranteed, no matter who you are or what you believe, going to be at least one book in any decent sized store that you completely fall in love with, and one that completely offends you.
Are you a self-hating half jewish Nazi...then the cheese can find a book for you. Has Jesus himself spoken to you personally...we might have something up your ally. Do you believe that a race of intergalactic lizards mixed their DNA with that of humans 10,000 years ago and that the descendents of those aliens are secretly running the world to this day...follow me.
Basically, it comes down to free speech people. If you don't like a book you see, you don't have to buy it, open it, or even look at it.
Take for instance this book. Someone must have been browsing the parenting section, and didn't like what they saw because co-worker of the cheese later found the book misplaced with the following handwritten note inside:
"File under-
lesbian, feminist, propaganda bullshit."
Now here's the great thing about browsing in a book store. There is, guaranteed, no matter who you are or what you believe, going to be at least one book in any decent sized store that you completely fall in love with, and one that completely offends you.
Are you a self-hating half jewish Nazi...then the cheese can find a book for you. Has Jesus himself spoken to you personally...we might have something up your ally. Do you believe that a race of intergalactic lizards mixed their DNA with that of humans 10,000 years ago and that the descendents of those aliens are secretly running the world to this day...follow me.
Basically, it comes down to free speech people. If you don't like a book you see, you don't have to buy it, open it, or even look at it.
Monday, August 15, 2005
F@&*#$!G Ads
Because the cheese is tired of seeing advertisements posted in the comments, he has now re-set the blog so that only members of this blog can comment. If you are a faithful reader of the cheese and wish to comment, e-mail the cheese (the cheese knows full well, however, that the only people who regularly read this thing are already members so this shouldn't affect anyone other than the assholes using the land of the cheese as free ad space).
Two pieces of advice
1. Don't move 500 miles four weeks before a wedding, and
2. Don't spend any time in Big Springs Texas, ever!
2. Don't spend any time in Big Springs Texas, ever!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
One day...
Is the cheese nervous...no. Does the cheese have cold feet...negetive. Is the cheese concerned at all...meh. The cheese is looking forward to a decrease in stress after tomorrow. And he is crossing his fingers that any "day of" problems are small, or soon-to-be-mrs.-cheese doesn't find out about them...
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