The cheese is...

I am: Hal Clement (Harry C. Stubbs) A quiet and underrated master of "hard science" fiction who, among other things, foresaw integrated circuits back in the 1940s.

Which science fiction writer are you?

Thanks mojo!

Sean Bean is, we can all agree, the greatest living actor...

Really, anything starring Sean Bean, even something as bad as say, National Treasure, is still good simply because Bean deigns to lend his quasi-godlike visage to it. And while the cheese hasn't seen The Hitcher yet, he did already complain to momma_cheese that is seems clear Bean's character dies at the end of the film, which is ridiculous because if Bean did decide to go on a homicidal rampage across some desert highways, there is no way in hell Sophia Bush and miscellaneous "good-looking" guy could stop him...and so this web comic gives a fairly satisfying compromise to the dilemma...


As an interesting aside, the cheese stumbled upon these at the ol' bookmines and is now racking his brains on how he might save up for them...

No more regular soda...EVER!

Toward the end of a fairly stressful day, one in which the cheese found himself fighting off his second cold in three weeks (the blame goes to Suavo, even though he duly warned the cheese...), financial issues continued to cause stress, and a cold sore the size of a mid-size former Soviet state had blossomed on the cheese mouth, he decided to indulge himself and drink, for the first time in three weeks, a regular soda with all its (supposed) high-fructose corn syrupy goodness. Alas, an upset stomach, faint dizziness, and general malaise was all the cheese got from his ill advised indulgence.

A pox on thy house, REGULAR SODA! Never again shall you pass the cheese' lips!

Don’t judge a book by its cover, yes....but don’t judge a book cover by itself either.

Four or five weeks ago I would have very likely agreed with this pronouncement that the cover to Jim Cramer’s Mad Money is surely a ridiculous thing. But something odd has happened to the cheese recently. As part of his four-fold plan(blog link) to improve himself the cheese is trying to be much more opened minded in regards to a number of things.

In this case, the cheese resolution #3 has motivated him to learn something, anything, about the stock market. So the past few weeks the cheese has taken in a lot of CNBC. Now it just so happens that Mr. Cramer, him of the crazy cover has a show on that very network. At first glance this Cramer guy seems a thoroughly schizoid, bizarro dimension version, of a stock analyst. His show plays something akin to a cross between a morning “drive-time” radio bazaar and a PBS program. On the one hand, it’s terribly fast paced with a lot of sound and visual do-daddery, while he’s relaying a veritable mountain of information about the stock market in general, and the business world at large.

Apparently Cramer ran a hedge-fund for something like 15 years where, in his own words, he made “more money than anyone has a real right to.” And the opening to his book claims that he does the show (and now book) to help people realize their own goals in the stock market. The cheese has watched the show here and there (cause with a five month old, watching something daily is just not possible) for a few weeks now and the cheese can’t count how many times he’s heard Cramer say that anyone, no matter economic or education level, can do a better job managing his stocks/money (as long as he has the conviction to do the work/research required) than any investment banker, stock broker, financial planner, etc. And that’s a fairly empowering statement, especially to someone like the cheese who doesn’t have a whole lot of disposable cash lying around but is interested in investing.

That’s not to say that the cheese agrees with everything Cramer says...like he values how a company performs more than how it treats its employees or the type of business it is. Cramer named Altria (parent company of Phillip Morris, Phillip Morris International, and Kraft) as his pick of the year because he believes the three branches will split off into independent companies, but even if the cheese had money just now, he doubts he could purchase stock from a tobacco company...

So what does any of this have to do with the ol’ book cover? Well, as part of his resolution regimen the cheese recently read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. No doubt, those of you who know the cheese well think this last sentence is some sort of joke. But no, friends, it is true.

Let us take a moment to reflect back on days when the cheese was an undergraduate. He worked one year in his school’s writing center, and another two years as a TA, grading papers from intro lit courses. Suffice it to say, those three years saw the cheese read a lot of bad writing. Not coincidently, whenever the cheese read a particularly sorry paper, you know, the kind that makes one question the school’s admission policies/department, nine times out of 10 that paper came from a business major (and as a sidenote, Rich Dad, Poor Dad wasn’t particularly well written either, but more on that in a minute). The cheese, in fact, spent a good deal of time as an undergraduate talking badly about business in general, business majors specifically, and how most in the business program could hardly speak correctly, let alone construct a coherent paragraph and set it down on paper. But all those business graduates had to have learned something, and in occurs to the cheese that what they were learning might very well be pertinent to his intended occupation.

Robert Kiyosaki, the author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad relates a store that truly hit home with the cheese, and it goes like this...

Some time ago Kiyosaki was in Singapore for a business conference and had agreed to be interviewed by a female journalist working for one of the local papers. It just so happens that on some of his previous trips there Kiyosaki had actually read some of the articles this particular journalist had written and thought very highly of her as both a journalist and a writer. At the end of the interview the woman asked Kiyosaki if he might giver her some tips on being a published author, as she had a novel that she had written but had been unsuccessful at getting anyone to publish it. Kiyosaki suggested the woman take a course, or attend a conference, on sales. She immediately became indignant and responded with something like “I don’t want to be a salesman! I want to be a writer!” Kiyosaki then picks up his book and says “The cover of this says best selling author, not best writing author.” And then went on to explain that she might be the greatest writer in the world, and that he believed she probably had written a very good book, but that if she didn’t learn to, effectively, sell herself she’d have a very hard time getting published. The woman, apparently, seemed to miss the point because she ended their conversation by storming off.

Her attitude mirrors, almost exactly, the cheese’ attitude of many years ago. The cheese wanted to be a “writer.” He was above the trivial concerns of money or the business of how one goes about actually getting paid to write. Since then, though, the cheese has realized two things. 1) The cheese is not now, and will never be a “writer.” That is, what the cheese writes is not art. Entertaining, sure. Artistic, no. The cheese has taken the view that there are, in fact, very few writers who are artists. Most writers, in fact, are craftsmen. The difference is that while both an artist and a craftsman may work with, say, clay the artist might produce The Thinker while the craftsman might produce a bowl. The bowl may be beautiful in its own right, but will never rival the beauty of what the artists makes. Then again, the bowl has some utility while no one would think of eating a meal off of a sculpture. The utility inherent in works produced by writing craftsmen is entertainment, pure and simple. That’s not to say that crafted writing cannot illuminate truth about the world we live in or the human condition, but it must still, at its core, entertain the reader. Artistic writing, however, may be a clear work of genius, may ponder the most important questions about existence, and still might not entertain. Take, Moby Dick, which the cheese read for the first time this last semester. Three or four more readings, at least, are required before the cheese can get any type of handle on it. Doubtless there are few who have ever read it that would argue its power as a piece of art, and there would probably be very few more who would call it entirely entertaining.

But Kiyosaki’s story is the reality of the world. If the cheese ever has a hope of selling The Chronicles than he must learn to sell himself, and his work.

Again, what does this have to do with the Cramer cover....well, the way in which this site goes about trashing it shows the cheese two things, first she’s probably never seen his show, and second probably hasn’t read the book. Maybe that’s not the point, but anyone who’s ever seen this show, even for just 60 seconds, would know that the cover couldn’t have looked any different. Cramer is just that way. The cheese isn’t sure if he does lines before the show goes live, but it wouldn’t be a big shock to find out that was the case. The guy runs on pure adrenaline for 60 minutes, and in light of the show, actually, the cover is rather subdued. In the interest of full disclosure the cheese will say he hasn’t yet finished the book. But one thing becomes increasingly clear as one reads it (or spends any serious amount of time watching the show), the guy really wants to help ordinary people, even those without a lot of disposable income, make money in the stock market.

Now the attitude that the article’s author takes in relation to the cover reminds the cheese of how he might have responded 10 years ago, or 5 years ago, or even last year for that matter. The cheese has always fancied himself open minded, but the truth is, we all have a prejudices. But to be truly open minded one must own up to his prejudices, and work to turn them inside out. The cheese is going out to find a job with a fortune 500 company any time soon. But maybe he can learn something from all those people/disciplines that he once derided with scorn. And certainly not everything he learns will be useful. But the cheese believes that the true definition of wisdom is realizing where your knowledge is deficient, accepting that one can always learn something from every person or discipline of knowledge you encounter, and continually trying to expand what you know with an attitude of humility (i.e. realizing you will never know everything).

Biggest News in American Soccer, Ever!

David Beckham, ye of multiple English Premier League, FA Cup, and even a Champions League medal to his credit will be joining the LA Galaxy in July.

Recently the MLS amended their salary cap rules with what, even at the time, was known as the "Beckham Rule." This rule, essentially, allows each team to sign one international player at a salary significantly larger than would have been allowed under the old 2 million dollar per-team cap (also, teams can trade there rights to a designated player, but no team is allowed more than two such players).

It was long known that Beckham intended to play in the US at the end of his career. And while he's currently 31, which is a bit old for any soccer player not named Gary Speed, he's still got something left. That being said, it was assumed he wouldn't hop the pond for a couple years yet. That was, of course, until the current La Liga campaign began. This year Beck's has made only 7 starts for Real Madrid through all competitions (though he has come on a dozen times as a sub). That's not nearly enough for a player with Beckham's stature. So once his current deal with Real runs out on June 30 he'll be wearing Galaxy yellow.

The cheese might actually attend an MLS match now...

Best Commercial Ever

Aint it cool news posted this commercial and I thought I would share it with you. If you don't get it the first time, watch it again.

That time of year.

The cheese has never been too hip to the whole "new year's resolution" thing. He believes that if one wants to affect change in one's life, then any day of the year is the day to do so, rather than some arbitrarily decided upon date that "begins" a new calendar year (cause remember, a year is measured by the time it takes our planet to circle the sun, a circle as we all know, has no real beginning or end).

Nevertheless, it seems a particularly pertinent moment in the cheese' life to reassess and revalue certain things. As all loyal citizens of cheeselandia know Princess Isabella is growing by the minute (as the cheese writes this, in fact, she is rolling about on the living room floor with various plush friends).


And it is the princess, not surprisingly, that has spurred much of the cheese desire to change certain things in his life.

Resolution #1. Cultivate a more positive attitude

Look, by nature the cheese is sarcastic, cynical and generally annoyed with humanity. But it occurs to the cheese that he does not necessarily wish such an attitude on the princess. Truth be told, the cheese has often felt himself grudgingly admire people who are mostly positive. And perhaps there is some truth in the idea that to foster good things in one's life, one must start with himself. Sure it sounds a bit "new agey" but it is the underlying (though wholly simplified) principle of certain eastern philosophies. All in all, the cheese wants more than anything for his daughter to be happy and excited about life, as opposed to always being bitter and pessimistic.

Resolution #2. Change eating habits

It has now been four days since the cheese last had a soda. More than that, though, the cheese is on an overall diet. The cheese truly believes that there may be a place in his life for soda, though it should be a very small place. And while the days of consuming two gallons of Pepsi in a day are long gone, even two cans of soda a day is much too much. First off, the cheese metabolism is not what it once was, and secondly, no man who is barely 5'7" should weigh 185 lbs. Currently the cheese and mrs_cheese are on the "cleansing" portion off their diet which will last two weeks total. Then the cheese gets fruit again, thank god. And, in fact, the diet hasn't been that bad so far, though the craptacularness of it has been blunted by a head cold and minor back injury... But the cheese really doesn't want the princess growing up believing (like the cheese did) that it is perfectly fine if all one's liquid intake comes from aluminum cans.

Resolution #3. Take an active role in securing the family's future

Right now the cheese clan has two different retirement funds and life insurance policies on all three of us (yes, that includes the princess, but it's more about her children's future than about any money we might receive on the off chance she dies at a young age). And it recently occurred to the cheese he knows little to nothing about mutual funds, stocks, 401K's, or any other important component of this country's financial system. Now, in a perfect world there would be a fair and progressive tax system in this country that allowed for Social Security to continue on past next year or so, the real estate market would actually be affordable to middle income families and corporations would actually be taxed. But none of those things will probably ever happen in the cheese' lifetime. That being the case, the cheese needs to seriously increase his understanding of the major financial systems working in this country so that, on that sad day when the cheese passes onto the next phase, princess isabella will inherent a cheeselandia that is not a desolate wasteland peopled with illiterate peasants.

Resolution #4 Make a concerted effort to actually have a writing career

This might go without saying, but the Chronicles will be finished soon. This, though, is only the first step to becoming a published writer. As of this writing the cheese has already begun to formulate an actual plan of action on what to do once the novel is finished. In some ways luck plays a part in any artists attempt to make a living off of a craft, but the cheese believes that with the proper mental attitude and an actual blueprint for action, one might just be able to manufacture his own luck.

Well, that's the list. What about you, oh loyal citizens? Any resolutions out there?


P.S., the cheese went ahead and upgraded the blog to the new version, so in order to post you all might have to upgrade your accounts...