Is the cheese trying to get fired?

Possibly...the following is an e-mail that was sent out company wide by the new HR manager at the cheese' current place of employment (the typos have been left in intentionally):

From: Misc. HR Manager
Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 2:47 PM
To: Misc. Employees
Subject: Miscellaneous Advertising Agency Newsletter Games

Hello everyone,

I am currently working on the Miscellaneous Advertising Agency newsletter and will be adding some fun games to be play in the newsletter. The October issues is going to have an Miscellaneous Advertising Agency game based on employees. I would appreciate your help in creating the game by answering the following questions and returning your answers to me by this Friday, September 29th.

Questions.

1. List one thing people don't know about you.

2. List one guilty pleasure (keep it clean) that you have.

3. What is your favorite office snack?

4. Where was your last vacation?

5. Please list the types of pets you have and their names.

6. What is the best OR worst Halloween costume you have ever worn?

7. List one thing that scares you.

8. What is your least favorite food?

9. What do you want for Christmas this year?

10. What is your favorite candy?

Thanks everyone.

Misc. Female Name
HR Manager
Miscellaneous Advertising Agency
xxx-xxx-xx77 x229 (office)
xxx-xxx-xx65 (fax)
MFemaleName@MiscellaneousAdvertisingAgency.net

And here follows the cheese's responses to said questions:

1. I am the semi-benevolent over-lord of a planet that resides in another plane of existence.

2. Allowing rebellions to go on long enough that those involved believe they have a real possibility of pulling me from my throne before I crush them under my mighty fist of oppression.

3. The souls of non-believers.

4. To ensure the continuance of my reign I have not the leisure of taking vacations.

5. Three-headed dog named Cerberus.

6. I do not participate in this “Holy Day” know as Halloween as it would sully my dignity and grandeur.

7. An armed and organized populous.

8. In order that my reign last forever I have forgone the ingestion of food and now subsist on hourly injections of a secret “elixir” that my royal alchemist devised.

9. Santa Claus is currently imprisoned in my dungeon and will grant me whatever I wish…or he’ll pay dearly!

10. Candy is simply an opiate of the masses that I use to control the minds of young children.