World Cup, Quarterfinal Preview

Six of the previous winners in the tournament, Brazil, Germany, Argentina, England, France and Italy) have advanced to the quarterfinal stage and will be joined by Portugal and the Ukraine. Most of these matches will likely be hard fought, and are difficult to call. The cheese has refrained from making predictions (except for noting correctly that the US wouldn't get out of their group), but now this shit's for real yo! So let's start looking like an idiot

Match #1 -- Germany v. Argentina
This is a really REALLY tough one to call. Argentina has the second deepest roster (behind the Brazillians) in the tournament, and looked particularly good in group play. Mexico took them to overtime, though, and only the probable goal of the tournament saw them through. Still, they are quite a force. On the other hand, the German squad (widely panned as sub-par before the tournament) has looked quite good, even beautiful. This isn't the dour, defense/efficient minded team of tournaments past. They actually like to score, and play a high-tempo game. But, that's what happens when you have two young and fearless strikers who seem to be peaking. Plus, the German's have home field advantage, which can never be underestimated. Against anyone else, the cheese would pick Agentina, but in this match the edge looks to be in the German's favor.
Predicted result -- Germany 3 - Argentina 2

Match #2 -- Italy v. Ukraine
Here is a matchup of two surprise teams; the Ukraines because they made it this far, the Italians because they haven't yet killed someone on the pitch. The Ukraines have a bunch of guys and Shevchenko. Yes, he is one of the best strikers in the world, but Italy have an actual team. The cheese cannot imagine any concievable situation that would see the Ukraine best Italy. Certainly, what with quantum physics and all, it's possible in some alternate universe somewhere, but not this one. Plus, Italy is going to pound this team into the ground, even if they end up playing with 9 men again.
Predicted result -- Italy 3 - Ukraine 1

Match #3 -- England v. Portugal
It is no secret that England is the cheese' team of choice. And while the cheese is trying to look at this game objectively, this match-up alone makes that difficult. Here is a game between two teams who have a history of choking at the quarter and semi final level. Were it England and any of the other six team left, the cheese would have to pick against England. Same goes for Portugal. But this game can't end in a tie. Portugal have looked the better side thus far (but so did Spain going into their match with France), but England haven't yet played cohesive football. This match, the cheese believes, may come down to how well (or poorly) England coach Ericsson picks his starting side/uses his subs. England have only played one solid team thus far (Sweden) and a late goal saw them end with a draw. Portugal will miss Deco, and Cristiano Ronaldo is an injury concern.
Predicted result -- England 4 - Portual 3 (decided on penalties)

Match #4 -- Brazil v. France
It still does not make sense that France is playing this game and not Spain. Yes Spain has never made it out of a quarterfinal, but still, they looked nearly unstoppable in group play, even coming back from a second half defecit. But most of this France team has won both a World and Euro Cup, and they know this might be their last hurrah. They straight outplayed Spain in the second half and might looked poised for an upset in the quarters. Too bad, that is, that they're playing Brazil. This is a rematch from the 98 final, and not just in name as many of the players from both sides played in that game. Brazil haven't looked very convincing overall. Ghana outplayed them in the round of 16 but couldn't finish. Brazil scored three goals on only seven shots. That won't happen against a competant and veteran French defense, but maybe Brazil will finally lift their game now that they'll be playing a tough side. The cheese would love to see one more game of magic from Zidane, but he probably doesn't have it in him.
Predicted result -- Brazil 3 - France 1

Stupid Teasers Teasing Me

Well they posted the teaser trailer for the next spiderman movie. It looks really cool. May 4th 2007 can't get here soon enough. The only problem I see is that it looks like it will cram a lot of things into one movie. I have faith in Raimi's love of spiderman and good track record. Anyway check out the trailer here.

Harry Potter Will Die!

Or, at least, two major characters will die in the 7th and final installment of the wizard series, according to Rowling. She was vague on who would eat it, but said it wouldn't be any "extras."

The cheese predicts that Harry and Snape will die fighting each other and Voldemort will then go on to conquer the world, exterminating muggles left, right and center....or, if not, Harry and Voldemort will die fighting each other, and Ron will then become Minister of Magic.

What everyone has been waiting for...

another World Cup update!!!!

Saturday saw Germany and Argentina advance, and they will meet each other in the quarterfinals. If Germany can't beat the Argentines, then nobody may be able to.

Sunday came with another lackluster performance by England, and yet another win thanks to a Beckham free kick. Lampard has had 18 shots (8 on target) and not a single goal to show for it. Rooney looked quite good in the second half, though, so if the lads can just pull it together and play cohesively they might make it to Berlin.

Today saw a dubious call, 10 seconds before the end of the match, hand a 1-0 win to Italy over the resiliant Aussie's. Every tournament FIFA says that they don't want the officiating to be a problem, and every time it is. The tough carding is fine, as far as the cheese is concerned, but it needs to go both ways, for challenges and flops.

Good times will surely come to pass...

Yes it has been rumored, semi-confirmed, even discussed in the world of the cheese, but now the "official, official" word has come. FUTURAMA IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let dancing and rejoicing begin!

USA USA USA...uh, wait...

So the US finally scored a goal, unfortunately Ghana scored 2. And even though Italy did beat the Czech Republic, it will be Italy and Ghana advancing to the knockout phase. A small consolation to the US; Ghana will likely face Brazil in their next match.

England face Ecuador on Sunday, and should move ahead easily. At this point, though, Portugal, Germany, Spain and Argentina look to be the strongest, most organized sides, with Brazil looking tired and unfocused.

World Cup Report 5, Day 12

Argentina and the Netherlands are in half-time, currently all drawn at nil-nil. Once that game ends (it's sort of a mute point, both teams are advancing, it's just a matter of whose first in the group) one half of the round of 16 picture will be set. Germany vs. Sweden looks an enticing fixture, and whether it's the Argentines or the Dutch playing Portugal, that should prove a close match also.

Tomorrow, though, will be the true test for the US. Ghana has two of it's main scorers out, though the US will also be down two players. Then again, unless Italy can beat the Czech's (who will have Baros suiting up for the first time in the tournament) it doesn't matter what the US does.


In a bit of sad news, the cheese's hero, England Super Striker Michael Owen, went down with a ruptured ACL just 3 minutes into yesterdays match. He's, obviously, out of the tournament, and down for around 5 months. God speed, Owen. St. George's army will miss you!

It must be ordained by the football gods that the cheese witness the exploits of his Liverpool boys for England.

Since most of the games are broadcast during “office” hours, the cheese has only been able to watch bits and pieces of most matches when he is in the break room at his place of employment. And yet, he has still been able to watch, live as it happens, Steven Gerrard and Peter Crouch score their three goals. True, he wasn’t able to see Xabi Alonso’s goal in Spain’s first match, but the football gods aren’t perfect.

World Cup Report 4, Day 7

ENGLAND ADVANCES TO THE KNOCKOUT ROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to excellent late finishing by Liverpool superstars Peter Crouch and Steven Gerrard England ran off with 2-0 victory over the Soca Warriors (Trinidad & Tobago) to book their place in the next round of competition.

Sweden also went on to win, 1-0 over Paraguay, as Arsenal's own Freddie Llunberg found a late goal. Paraguay will be going home after match three, but the group is still open as a 3 goal margin of victory, and Sweden loss, in the last matches would see T&T make it out of the group phase.

All in all, England could have finished with 5 or 6 goals as they had the lion's share of shots/possesion. A few tense moments when T&T looked to breakthrough will give the Lions something to work on before the next round.

World Cup Report 3, Day 5

Well, between France and Brazil (in separate matches), two teams considered favorites (though less so in the case of Les Blues), a total of 1 goals was scored. Granted, neither team conceded a goal, but overall the two teams put in, essentially, lackluster performances. True, they were playing tough defensive teams (Switzerland and Croatia), but one goal! Come on! And Brazil was lucky to get a win. Croatia easily equaled the defending champs in all but the final scoreline.

In a way, it's kinda nice. As far as the cheese is concerned no REAL favorite has emerged. Germany put up four goals, but conceded two to a fairly subpar Costa Rica squad. France, Brazil and England have gotten results, but not looked intimidating. Sweden and the US have disappointed. Argentina, Italy and Mexico all looked strong, but overall the Czech's have looked most dominant. As far as this tournament goes, it looks pretty wide open at this point, and that's all a proper fan can really ask for.

An interruption in our normal World Cup coverage...

Both Brazil and France, the last two world cup winners, play their first matches today, so there'll be an update on that later on, but the cheese could not pass up an opportunity to comment on this.

The cheese supposes, as the birth of his first child nears, that every parent has a right to raise his/her child in any manner he/she sees fit. And IF you just happen to be a white supremacist, then probably you want your kids to be also. But this f*ed up mom goes one step further. Not only are her blue-eyed, blonde haired 13 year old twin girls already brain washed, their also a white power pop group! Seriously, you can't make this shit up!

The father was accused (during his divorce with the "whitey is great" mom) of drug use and violence, and the mom was awarded custody of the kids. Can you imagine being that judge? On one hand we have the nazi mom, or the abusive, drug using father...it really is the lesser of two evils. The cheese is guessing the judge probably flipped a coin to decide who got custody...at least, that's what the cheese would have done.

By the way, big props to Alan over at the PMJ Newswire for this.

World Cup Report 2, Day 4

Czech Republic 3 — USA 0

The cheese isn't going to say he is surprised. He has said more than once that the US squad has been given more credit than it deserved, but a 3-0 loss is pretty lopsided. The cheese wasn't holding out for a win, but a 1-1 tie wasn't out of the realm of possibility, that is until the game actually started. The Czech's were obviously superior in skill. The hallmark of the US march to the quarterfinals of the 02 cup was organization, but the US squad looked almost confused on the pitch today. Add to that the fact that the Czechs boast one of the strongest midfields in the tournament and the US had no hope.

Sadly, Italy has also gone on to beat Ghana. A tie, or Italian loss would probably have been preferential for the US in that match. Now it seems only a victory over both Ghana and the Italians will see the US through to the knockout stages.

World Cup Report 1, Day 2

After the first day's goal hemorrhage of eight in two games, day two saw a return to tight low scoring affairs as group B opened.

England - Paraguay

Everything looked good for Sven's Men as Beckham opened the scoring in the 4th minute on a free kick (it was technically ruled an own goal as the ball glanced off the Paraguayan captain's head before crossing the line, though it would have been a goal even if it hadn't), but that would be the total of goals come full time. In reality, it was a fairly tight affair, though neither team looked particularly comfortable. England did have a few decent opportunities, though Lampard seemed to be the only capable of seriously challenging the Paraguayan keeper. English super-striker Michael Owen, still recovering from an injury was replaced at 55 minutes, but did look more comfortable at times than in the pre-tournament warm ups. Overall, the England squad got the 3 points, but still have some work to do.

Sweden - Trinidad & Tobago

Before the opening of the tournament Ladbrokes had T&T at 2000-1 odds of winning the cup. T&T, in fact, is the smallest country to ever qualify for the finals. Sweden, meanwhile, was seen as 30-1 against winning it all. It is a testament, then, to how unpredictable the World Cup can be that T&T played Sweden to a nil-nil draw. More impressive, T&T went down to 10 men early in the second half after a second yellow card to Avery John. Big props to T&T keeper Shaka Hislop, a late addition to the starting squad, as he was unflappable during the 90 bombarding from the Swedes. This is a serious blow to the Swedes, considered by many to easily advance with England out of the group. Now, with T&T and Sweden even on points (and Paraguay only down 1 point, and 1 goal on differential), it's pretty much open on who may advance with England.

Today also opens up Group C, which should be tightly contested, with Argentina and Ivory Coast.

For all you in Sam's Army, Monday at noon we will see the US open up against the Czech Republic. The cheese is saying it now, the US will have a very difficult time making it to the knockout phase, but if they do it won't be a huge surprise.

Ten Reasons to Watch the World Cup, Part 3

4. Coaches
There are only two current coaches, Sven Goran Eriksson with England and Bruce Arena with the US, that were in control of their teams during the 2002 tournament. It's fun to see, just minutes after the group stage is over, how many coaches are fired or "voluntarily" quit do to underachieving expectations. If professional sport is a harsh mistress, then international football is Oprah on her period with a broken limb in the second week of her new diet.


3. US announcers.
In a way, the cheese feels sorry for the poor sods that get "chosen" to do play by play for the US World Cup audience. The cheese watches and reads about a lot of football, and even he has trouble with names from some of the smaller, more…um…less developed countries. He can't imagine what it must be like for "Billy Whiteboy," who's used to NFL player names, when he looks at a roster list from Croatia or Angola. But listening to them stumble over the player's monikers for 90 minutes = good entertainment.


2. The referees.
Allegations of match fixing are never that fun, but in the last year there has been substantiated cases of refs in Germany and Italy taking bribes to fix games. Add to that the overwhelming opinion of players, fans and coaches that the refereeing in 2002 was seriously sub par, and the refs at this year's world cup, then, will be under so much scrutiny that they're pretty much f*ed no matter what happens. If you love a little chaos in your sports, like the cheese, then this is the stuff of legend. Also remember that gambling is legal in nearly every part of Europe and Asia. You think the various mobs, cartels and gangs won't have an invested interest in this tournament? In a way, the World Cup represents something akin to Desperate Housewives, mixed with the Sopranos, set in a sporting atmosphere, that exists in the real world. There's nothing else like it.



1. It's not about who wins.
Well, OK, it is about who wins, eventually. But the list of possible winners is pretty short. After Brazil there are only four or five teams considered to be serious contenders, and a smattering of darkhorse teams. There is always the possibility that a Cinderella team can make a run; Greece was a 92-1 long shot before the start of the last Euro Cup, but eventually finished with the title. But with teams like Brazil, Argentina, England, the Czechs…well, it's even more unlikely in this tournament. The important thing to remember, though, is that the World Cup doesn't just include 32 teams that play for a month. This tournament has been played over the last four years, and included 190+ teams. Yes, only 32 qualified for the final, but every national team on the planet has taken part. And for most teams, just making it this far is a point of national pride. Citizens of Togo, Tunisia, Iran, and Trinidad & Tobago will simply be delighted to see their teams play alongside the world class players on other, more high profile teams. A surprise win will no doubt lead to days long celebrations in these countries. It's nice to see (from the vantage point of being in a country that only prizes victory, not effort or sportsmanship) people really excited about their teams, regardless of the specific outcomes, and that's something we could maybe use a little more of in this country.

The Time Draws Near

I also wanted to point you guys to Weird Al's webpage where he has a brand new song available for free download.

Pratchett is Number 2

Sorry to interrupt this football moment but I thought I would point out a great injustice that has recently happened. Book magazine has just published their list of the "Greatest Living British Authors" list. I am sorry to say that our beloved Terry Pratchett has come in second to JK Rowling. The list is based on an online poll on the magazine's webpage. I don't think popularity alone should be used as a measure of an author's greatness. I guess this will fire up Pratchett's disgust for Rowling some more. Here is the rest of the list in case you are interested:

1. JK Rowling
2. Terry Pratchett
3. Ian McEwan
4. Salman Rushdie
5. Kazuo Ishiguro
6. Philip Pullman
7. Harold Pinter
8. Nick Hornby
9. AS Byatt
10. Jonathan Coe and John Le Carre

Ten Reasons to Watch the World Cup, Part 2

7. It's actually on TV this time!
Unlike past years, when the only way you could watch the live matches was to follow a pirate map through downtown LA for three days before meeting up with a pimp who would then sell you a "magic" can of corn, which you would then have to exchange for a faux golden egg somewhere in the Mojave desert before being blindfolded, thrown in the back of a trunk, and driven to an undisclosed location where you could watch the last 20 minutes of the nil-nil first round yawner between Wales and Serbia-Montenegro, you can actually watch matches on normal television (Network and basic cable) as they happen.

6. There is the very real possibility of a riot, or many riots.
It's admitted, across the globe, that pound for pound the English hooligans are the worst, most violent of all hooligans. And England and Germany have a, well, not especially friendly history toward one another and emotions tend to run high when the two teams meet. Unfortunately, they were not drawn together in the group stage, but nevertheless, thousands upon thousands of English fans have swarmed the German countryside. The English immigration department did stop some 3,000 suspected hooligans from leaving the country, but come on, you know some of them got out. It's only a matter of time until enough alcohol has been consumed to turn even the most peaceful England fan into a Gerry hating lunatic! Also, German neo-Nazis like to fly swastikas during matches against "inferior" race teams. The German police have promised a crackdown on this type of thing, but again, you can't stop everyone. It's a pressure cooker of racial/historical/and alcohol fueled tension. The viewing audience can't lose!

5. Prostitutes!
Germany is one of a handful of European countries in which prostitution is legal. And with the influx of foreign tourists all ready to cheer their countries onto cup glory, Germany has also seen an influx of foreign prostitutes coming over to make some cash. Talk about globalization, it's free trade at its best!




And here's the answers to last post's quiz...

Akira Kaji            Japan
Cocu                  Netherlands
Dwight Yorke          Trinidad & Tobago
Eric Abidal           France
Ferydoon Zandi        Iran
Fred                  Brazil
Hipolito Mario        Angola
Inzaghi               Italy
Jared Borgetti        Mexico
Jermaine Jenas        England
Josip Skoko           Australia
Luis Boa Morte        Portugal
Messi                 Argentina
Oguchi Onyewu         USA
Robert Huth           Germany
Zlatan Ibrahimovic    Sweden

Ten reasons to watch the World Cup, Part 1

10. Staying up until the wee hours of the night to watch matches, and sleeping the following day at work.
Since this year's Cup is being played in Germany, the matches are mostly starting live at times between 1 AM and 6 AM. This makes for long nights, and even longer work days, but sleeping through the day can actually make it go by faster

9. Players have much better names than US sports.
In no other sport do are so many players known by a single name, the Brazil roster alone sports a handful, Cafu, Dida, Gilberto, Adriano, Ronaldo, Ronaldihno, and Kaka. Plus, it's fun to try and figure out where some players come from just by their names. In fact, here's a little quiz, match the player with his country…

Akira Kaji                Angola
Cocu                      Argentina
Dwight Yorke              Australia
Eric Abidal               Brazil
Ferydoon Zandi            England
Fred                      France
Hipolito Mario            Germany
Inzaghi                   Iran
Jared Borgetti            Italy
Jermaine Jenas            Japan
Josip Skoko               Mexico
Luis Boa Morte            Netherlands
Messi                     Portugal
Oguchi Onyewu             Sweden
Robert Huth               Trinidad & Tobago
Zlatan Ibrahimovic        USA

8. It's the largest, most watched sporting event in the world.
Americans can believe whatever they want about the Superbowl, but 1.1 BILLION households across the planet watched the 2002 World Cup Final. And that's not counting pubs, bars, restaurants, etc. where many more were, pushing the final total to and estimated 2 billion viewers. Get over your nationalistic pride and join in. Everybody's doin' it!

Can you smell it?

The odor of bratwurst, lager, cut grass, and millions of fanatics converging on Germany. Friday starts the 2006 World Cup, and the cheese will be updating this with Football themed posts for about the next month (with an occasional interruption from "real life"), so hold onto your hats loyal citizens of cheeselandia. Since our intrepid team didn't qualify for this years tournament (cause it's just the cheese and 10 cardboard cutouts of various star wars and comic book characters) the cheese is instructing all citizens to throw their support behind England.

What's that you say? We should be supporting the US. Well, first off, the US finds itself in the always sunny "group of death" with Italy, Ghana, and the Czech Republic. Advancing out of the group stage is not especially likely for Sam's Army. Plus, England fields former Liverpool wonderboy, and all around scoring wizard Michael Owen, not to mention current Liverpudlians wonder-captain Steven Gerrard, indomitable center-back Jaime Carragher, and freakishly tall super striker Peter Crouch. There are, of course, other teams fielding Reds (Spain, Holland, Germany, among others), but all citizens of cheeseland should be Liverpool fans by default.

In Honor of the Upcoming World Cup

The cheese will be posting a number of football related items. Also, the cable gets installed tomorrow at casa de cheese, so anyone who wants to watch any or all the games from Germany are welcome to come by...





It's Called Football Because You Kick a Ball With Your Foot

Why don't Americans like football, or as we stupidly call it here, soccer? There are three reasons for this, I believe, that are inherent to those of us born in the United States.

1. We like to watch people hurting each other, or getting hurt.
As an example, let's look at the two most popular sports in the US, American Football, or as the cheese likes to call it Tackleball, and Nascar. There is, on a second by second basis, more chance of seeing injury in a Tackleball game than nearly any other sport. Surely, critics can point to Hockey as being equally violent, and while checking is an important part of the game, it is not REQUIRED, as a tackle is, in every play. Also, Hockey has made numerous rules revisions over the last 15 or so years curbing how violent one can get on the ice, most recently in how defenders can challenge forwards when on fast breaks. But let's get back to the Tackleball. It is a sport designed, essentially, around causing injury. Certainly, there is a lot of "teamwork" and skill involved, but ask yourself this; if the NFL went from tackling to "flag football" next year would anyone watch? Probably not. Also, the name is misleading. For a sport calling itself "football" there is a serious lack of foot to ball action, unlike in proper football, where the players must kick the ball with their feet. Now we will turn to the second most popular sport in the land, Nascar. Not exactly the most thrilling of motor sports, since the races consist of 500 or so miles of left hand turns, but they often give the spectator the chance to see dozens of cars (driving at ridiculous speeds) suddenly entangle themselves in crashes of near epic proportions. Let's take nothing away from the drivers, because there is a whole lot of skill involved, but the cheese believes that, deep down, every Nascar fan will admit that part of the fascination is in waiting for the next inevitable crash. Proper football isn't ballet dancing (and broken ankles/feet/legs certainly abound) but it isn't inherently about hurting people, or watching people get hurt. It's called, in most of the world, the "beautiful game" because there is a grace and flow (even when the Germans play) present in the game that often alludes our simple, red-neck, Budweiser addled minds.


2. We like to prematurely ejaculate.
With the exception of baseball, which was invented in the mid 1800's, most American sports emphasize scoring points, lots of points, early, often, and in a thoroughly masculine way. Most tackleball games seem to end in at least one team amassing 20-40 points. Yes, touchdowns are worth 6 points, so this amounts to 3-7 TD's (or twice as many field goals). 3-7 isn't really "a lot" but it sounds more impressive to say 40 than it does to say 6. Not coincidently, a lot of hockey games end with 3-7 goals scored by either team. Hockey doesn't go in for this "one score equals 6 points" but, then again, it is mostly played by Canadians, who are by nature less ostentatious than Americans. Then we come to the sport with the largest scoring potential, basketball. In last night's Western Conference game 5 both teams scored over 100 points, and Dirk Nowitzki scored 50. Even in baseball, traditionally considered "boring" by other sport fanatics, the last 20 years has seen an explosion of offensive production. Yes, this came with the introduction of steroids, but even this year, under a fairly tough testing program, Albert Pujols is on pace to hit 78 home runs and 203! RBI's, which would both be new single season totals. Everywhere you turn in American sports one sees that scoring is all important. But what about proper football? Well, it's a cliché that some of the greatest games ever played ended in a 0-0 draw. The cheese has witnessed the odd game, here or there, where a team scores 5, 6, or 7 goals, but it's rare…really rare. Much more likely is a game ending 1-0, or 2-1, or god forbid 1-1 (that's another thing Americans can't seem to stand, ties). But in proper football the scoreline is not the most important thing, necessarily, at least not from the fan's perspective. Here, all we care about is the final score, who won, who lost. And certainly, football fans are passionate (even crazily fanatical) about their teams' winning and losing. But even the most diehard football fan will admit to the quality of a game, that is the enjoyment inherent in how the game is played, while watching his team lose. And in this way, scoring a goal becomes so important. Since the 94 World Cup (when the US hosted for the first time and was introduced to Jorge Cantor's famous GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!) Americans have poked fun at the way players/fans/announcers all celebrate a goal in the football world. But in that world, scoring a goal is so special that nothing else would adequately display the emotion involved. American's are a gluttonous lot, and we routinely over-feast on the scorelines of our favorite sports.

3. We can't stand to like stuff that people in other countries like.
American's just can't bring themselves to admit that other people can come up with something good. Even when we do take to something from another country, we have to change the name to make it more US friendly; case it point, American Idol was first a show in England known as Pop Idol. American's invented tackleball, baseball, and basketball. The English invented proper football. There's in way in hell we will ever accept it as a sport equal to those we invented.

GREATEST FUSION IDEA

I saw this at the grocery store the other day and the concept intrigued me. It's like 2 of my favorite things got together and had a child. At this point you may be wondering when exactly I'll be getting to the point of all this. Well here it is: Ben & Jerry's black and tan ice cream!!!! It sounds kinda wierd but let me tell you it is fan-f'ing-tastic. The only question I have is what the "stout" ice cream is. I highly recommend going out and getting some. In fact, I may stop on my way home and get another pint for the weekend. I also recommned the "vermonty python" with the chocolate cows in it.

One good thing...

about the new job. The cheese can sit in the shade, next to a crapy water fountain, in the office complex adjacent to his, and get free internet thanks to someone/thing known as MI.

But don't you have internet access at work?

Well, yes...but they don't want the cheese using it, even though he's had all of THREE FUCKING ADS to proof since 8:30 this morning...total time taken to proof said ads--15 minutes!

The cheese never rightly understood how people could walk into an office and randomly pick off co-workers with automatic weapons...until now.

Longest day of my life!

Even when there is work to do, it's a serious effort to keep the bile from filling the cheese's mouth…but when it's slow, like today, the cheese is forced to pass the time by imagining various ways he might end his life with everyday office equipment; paperclips, staples, tacks, file folders, fax machines, etc. The mp3 versions of the Wheel of Time series that the cheese burned onto DVD's has gone a good way to alleviating the sucking gloom, but it's a bit like sticking your finger in the hole in a dam…it can only work for so long.

On a brighter note, the cheese and momma cheese start "Prepared Childbirth" classes tonight, which, is apparently code for Lamaze.