Monday, December 18, 2006

Just so you don't think the cheese has been lazy, Or: the longest post to ever appear on this blog...

Here, dear citizens, is your opportunity to bask in the glory of the cheese' most recent efforts on his journey toward dual (useless) master's degrees. Marvel at how, in a 15 page research paper on Emily Dickinson, he successfully includes cites to both Star Wars and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy....




The Cheese

English 520

Dr. Esdale

December 13, 2006

Dickinson and Artistic Intent: The Question of Variant Poems

Emily Dickinson has, for many years, been a favorite of literary scholars and critics. When looking at the breadth of her work there seems a never ending variety of thematic topics to discuss or analyze. Coupled with the somewhat unusual facts surrounding her everyday life, Dickinson becomes an even more intriguing and enigmatic figure. One of the more unique aspects of her writing, though, is the fact that she often wrote multiple versions of her poems that included variations on certain words or phrases. Literary criticism being the endeavor it is, any critic armed with enough florid turns of phrase and logical acumen can extract near limitless readings from any manuscript of depth (be it poem, novel or short story). Add to that the fact that Dickinson was a writer who published almost no work during her life (and those few pieces that she did publish barely register as a spot on the totality of her collected work), and you have a writer who never created what the public might consider a codified “edition” of any single piece of her writing (let alone her entire canon). The floodgates, it would seem, are then left wide open as to how one might interpret any of the poems that include even a single variant, let alone those with multiple variant parts (and those with several options for each variant). It is not the focus of this paper to simply analyze some poems with variants, though that is, in many ways, an instructive exercise related to the matter at hand. The real question that is being approached here, rather, is just what was Dickinson doing by including these variants?

It is not an easily answered question. Or, one could easily answer it by asserting that Dickinson was merely using variants as a means by which to self-edit or improve those poems that included said variants. There is a tenet in scientific circles known as Occam’s Razor that states, essentially, all things being equal, the simplest solution is probably the best. In terms of Dickinson and her use of variants, this “self-edit” hypothesis would certainly fit the criteria of Occam’s Razor, for it does not require one to look extensively at the numerous variants, or postulate any hypothesis beyond what seems apparent in the manuscripts themselves. The problem with this hypothesis, though, is that we are not dealing with a scientific inquiry. This is not a question whose solution can be found in a lab. This is a problem that, at its core, revolves around a semi-reclusive woman who has been dead for 120 years and who, while alive, did not communicate even to close friends in a necessarily clear or straightforward manner. And so it seems disingenuous, both to the woman and her work, to simply write off the variants as mere acts of self-editing or drafting.

Let us begin by turning our attention to poem 1263, commonly known as “Tell all the truth but tell it slant.” The first two lines seem to relate a fairly straightforward (for Dickinson, at any rate) idea, “Tell all the truth but tell it slant - / Success in Circuit lies.” Essentially, then, it seems Dickinson is espousing a philosophy of tactful truthfulness. That is, that truth is important but it is best expressed in some manner other than complete candidness. The next two lines then appear to expand on this idea, “Too bright for our infirm Delight / The Truth's superb surprise.” Line three, however, contains the first of two variants within the poem. Instead of “infirm” Dickinson alternately allows “bold” to sit in its place. At first glance, it seems a trifling matter. The central point of the line would seem to be “our...Delight.” One might argue that changing the adjective describing the noun “Delight” is essentially making no real change, and this would not be an argument totally without merit. But the two adjectives that Dickinson uses here are so absolutely contradictory that to see them side by side strikes one as intriguing. The use of infirm implies that “our...Delight” is something weak, almost non-existent, that Truth will reveal to be hollow. Using the word bold instead, however, connotes that “our...Delight” is something strong, perhaps even fortified, that is destroyed (possibly violently) by Truth. Again, there are similarities in these two versions, as Truth seems to be serving in an instructive or clarifying manner in relation to Delight. But the way in which it acts in each, one illuminating and one annihilative, is very different.

The third set of two lines contains no variants, “As Lightning to the Children eased / With explanation kind,” and seems essentially straightforward. Then, however, in the final set of two lines the reader encounters the second and most important variant, “The Truth must dazzle gradually / Or every man be blind -” with “gradually” alternately replaced with the word “moderately.” Again it seems at first glance that these are similar ideas, simply separated by some order of degree. But close scrutiny reveals that these two word choices are, in fact, delivering two vastly different ideas.

In the first rendition we have “Truth must dazzle gradually.” While this, in some way, echoes the sentiment of the opening lines it also seems to imply that there is no stopping point. If Truth does dazzle “gradually,” regardless of how slow a pace it is revealed, Truth should, at some point, be completely disclosed. The use of “moderately,” however, seems to set a limit on the amount, rather than the speed, of Truth that people can handle. Moderately, we would most likely take as meaning “within a reasonable limit.” In this reading, then, it is not how quickly (or really, how slowly) man can handle Truth, but how much actual Truth man can cope with period. So where lies the “true” meaning of the poem? Must a person approach Truth slowly, that he might appreciate its fullness properly, or must he take in what truth he can and be happy with that? The two would seem mutually exclusive, for if one is to know only a fraction of Truth, then one cannot know it fully.

There is, of course, the possibility that the variants exist, rather than to replace specific words, to demonstrate deeper meaning within the work. In other words, that the variants need not be seen as a choice of one or the other, but rather all of the word choice options set down by
Dickinson exist as parts of the poem to enhance the totality of meaning within the work. In a more theoretical way, that is, in a strictly philosophical sense, the duality of meaning suggested by the variants can be seen as, perhaps, two sides of the same coin, each one illuminating facets of the other. This, in fact, might not be an entirely far fetched idea as Monte reminds us, “...the reader need to be alert for alternative meanings in Dickinson’s poetry while expecting its driving impulse to be toward interrelated concerns...” (29).

As Franklin notes in the Variorum Edition, this poem was not included in any of the fascicles Dickinson constructed, nor was it (as far as we know) sent to anyone in a letter, but survives for us on a “fragment of stationary” (1089). Certainly, then, one might argue (at least in relation to this poem) that Dickinson was in fact practicing a form of self-edit by including the variants. Perhaps her desire here was to tease out exactly what she wanted this poem to do, or how she wanted it to read. Certainly this would seem a fairly likely explanation in this instance. But then what are we to make of poem 292, “I got so I could hear his name -” (see attached). Here is a 27 line poem (a bit on the longer side for Dickinson, true) that contains no less than seven variants (and the variants for lines one and 23 each have two options). The first variant, in fact, causes a shift in how one perceives the entire poem. The first line reads “I got so I could hear his name -” with two possibilities for “hear,” both “think” and “take.” The first option, “think” does little to change the perception of the line, as both connote a simple passive (“think” is, obviously, not exactly passive but there is no direct contact with the man even when employing this variant) experience with the man’s name. The second optional variant “take,” however, is a verb, and not just a suggestive one. Reading this variant with the second line, in fact, turns the entire poem from passivity to action; “I got so I could take - his name - / Without - Tremendous gain -.” Instead of the mere idea, or thought, of the man, the speaker has now fully taken on this man creating a specific connectivity between both speaker and man. It could be argued that this is a metaphorical, or imaginative, taking. Dickinson, famously, did not marry and the wording “I got so” can be taken to infer thinking about “taking” on the man’s name. But the use of “take” develops a connectivity, between speaker and man, that seen in light of the second variant, seems correct.

The entire second stanza reads, “I got so I could walk across / That Angle in the floor, / Where he turned so, and I turned - how - / And all our sinew tore -.” This version seems to flow well with either of the first two variants of line one. In this sequence we see the speaker walking past the man and both parties turn (or turn away). In the case of the speaker, the “how” seems to be a question of “how could she turn from him?” And yet she does turn from him, and in that action their collective “sinew” (both speaker and man) tears. The variant here, is in line seven and reads “Where he turned so, and I let go -.” This variant, though, would seem to fall more in line with the second variant of line one. Instead of the connectedness of the two being a thought within the speakers head, the second line one variant expresses a specific connection. That connection, rather than simply requiring the speaker to turn away, would require a much more dynamic action at this point in the poem than a simple “turning away,” and “letting go” is certainly one. And this variant, because of the substantially stronger connection (coupled with the second variant to line one), expresses an even more powerful and awful “tearing” of “sinew” in line eight.

The fourth stanza, “Could dimly recollect a Grace - / I think, they called it “God” - / Renowned to ease Extremity - / When Formula, had failed -” contains three variants, two of which are incredibly important. The first occurs in line 13, with “Grace” being replaced by “Force.” Grace, especially in light of the capitalization, can easily be a stand in term for God. And, not coincidently, “God” is used in the following line. But by using the term “Grace,” as opposed to any of the number of other terms at her disposal, Dickinson is relating a specific idea of God. This is not the vengeful God of the Old Testament. Grace, in fact, implies a personnalness about God and how he acts in relation to mankind. The variant “Force,” however, does the exact opposite. One finds it hard to imagine a “Force” with any sort of personal attributes that a human can relate to, let alone a “Force” imparting anything even remotely resembling grace. And following on the dichotomy of these variants line 15, “Renowned to ease Extremity -” a natural expression following the use of “Grace,” can also be read “Renowned to stir - Extremity -.” This seems at complete odds with the “Grace” variant, but completely in line with the use of the “Force” variant. The last line of the stanza, “When Formula, had failed -” also alternately reads “When Filament - had failed -.” There is, of course, a meaningful difference in “Formula” and “Filament,” particularly in relation to the line one variants, where “Filament” reinforces the idea of connectedness. This variant, though, is of less import up against the two preceding variants in this fourth stanza.

The difference in the two variant versions of the poems may not be as pronounced as in poem 1263. The difference here is more subtle, though no less intriguing. And while seeing the variants in 1263 as part of the whole may be a more taxing intellectual effort for the reader, in the case of 292 we see, when taking in the totality of meaning and significance of the variants, that indeed there is a coherent overarching thematic structure that easily acknowledges, and is strengthened by, the inclusion of the variants. Unlike poem 1263, however, 292 was included by Dickinson in one of her fascicles. This then brings up another issue we must consider in this discussion, how do you evaluate the fascicles? At some level, it may come down to personal preference since, as Franklin notes, the fascicles were

“...of simple construction...To bind, Dickinson stacked the assembled sheets, with the overflow leaves (if any) in place, and punched two holes through the group, threading it with string, tied in front. She did not put her name on the fascicles, give them titles or title pages, or label, number, or otherwise distinguish them. They bear no pagination or signature markings to establish an internal order...there are no contents lists or indexes to aid in locating a particular one. It is apparent that she did not keep them in a particular order...(7-8).

From this description (and Franklin would certainly be one of the most reliable sources in this regard) there might be the inclination to discredit the importance Dickinson placed on the fascicles since she made no effort to catalog their contents. Even with such a simple construction, however, the very act of creating the fascicles (and creating so many over so long a period) suggests that Dickinson had some desire to record in a more permanent fashion many of her poems. Clearly she was not going about compiling her “Complete Works” but she was making an effort to standardize some of her poems. Indeed, Franklin confirms that once a poem was copied from a working draft into “...a later form, such as a fascicle, the drafts were destroyed” (11). Of course, this did not preclude her from, later in her life, simply copying working copies verbatim into the fascicles themselves (Franklin 18). Even with this seemingly inherent contradiction, though, it would be a disservice to ignore the importance of the fascicle process in Dickinson’s art. The very act of producing these small booklets did allow Dickinson to act in a quasi-editorial capacity over her poems. And yet, as in the case of of 292, at the end of that editorial event the poem still included multiple variants.

At this point it is pertinent to consider that freedom of (or questions of) artistic intent is something that happens on a regular basis. In recent years the American public has been witness to the auteuristic tendencies of George Lucas. In 1977 the first Star Wars film was released in theaters, with subsequent sequels in (The Empire Strikes Back) 1980 and (Return of the Jedi) in 1983. In 1997 George Lucas re-released a “Special Edition” of all three films to theaters world-wide. Each of the 1997 versions had been altered in some way from the original theatrical release. The subsequent VHS and DVD versions of the “Special Edition” trilogy also included even more changes on top of those from the 1997 theatrical versions (as an interesting aside, just this year Lucas has released a DVD box set of all three “Classic” versions of the films, that is, the films as they were seen when originally released in theaters in 1977, 1980 and 1983 respectively). Lucas’ explanation of why he felt the need to create these new versions is that:

Episode IV was not really finished because I didn't have the money, the time or the technology to finish it. At the time I was kind of upset about it...And I was saying, ‘I feel it's only 50 or 60% of what I wanted. I'm really disappointed, I'm really sad, it bothers me to watch it.’ And to a minor degree, that was true on the next two films, partly because I was financing them myself and they were more complicated. I did those films in a Special Edition to finish them off the way I meant them to be (Anwar).

Unable to accomplish, technologically, his original vision of the films when they were initially produced, Lucas was forced to wait until advances in the science of film making made it possible for him to finish the films the way he originally envisioned them. In this instance, though, Lucas' inability to exactly create his vision was a limit of the medium at the time (the 1970's), and the subsequent corrections done by the film maker were only possible once technology had adequately evolved. In relation to Dickinson, this is instructive in how we (as the literary critical world) view her work. It is assumed that one of the reasons she did not publish (much) during her lifetime was her dislike of what alterations might be required, in the form of structural and format changes, of her poetry. This problem, of course, did not exist in her chosen forms of “publication,” the fascicles and letters. It seems obvious, then, that the variant forms that exist of her poems were not, in fact, simply her attempts to “get it right.” Dickinson had nothing to hinder her, either as an outside influence (as in the case of an editor) or technologically (as was the case with Lucas), from producing exactly the art she wanted to.

There is, though, another type of influence to consider in the example Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Originally produced as a radio drama, the story was subsequently retold by Adams as a novel, TV series, graphic novel, video game and feature film. Each of these renditions was written or created by Adams himself. The one exception, the film, was produced after Adams' death, though he wrote the penultimate draft of the screenplay and is responsible for about 90% of the film’s final story (Lacey R20). Being that each variation of the story is told in a different medium each version does vary, in terms of story structure and plot, slightly (or in a couple of cases, greatly) from every other. To Adams this seemed a necessity to accommodate the underlying differences in each specific medium. In fact, in 1985 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The Original Radio Scripts was published. Adams later wrote that “...it is the only example of one Hitchhiker publication accurately and consistently reflecting another. I feel a little uncomfortable with this...”(xi). The motivation behind Adam’s unease at the publication of the radio scripts stems from the fact that, as each medium is necessarily different, and therefore has different factors by which success (in terms of a “good” story) is judged, the actual Hitchhiker story that is told in each medium is different. This was a situation that Adams embraced wholeheartedly as it seems fairly obvious that what may work in a novel may not adequately transfer to a film, or radio drama, or TV series. The examples of George Lucas and Douglas Adams may appear completely unrelated to the life or artistic proclivities of Emily Dickinson.

In many ways, though, Dickinson is such an enigma to current scholars that, at times, it is useful to approach her work from more familiar territory. If we can use the examples of others to illuminate what Dickinson certainly was not doing, then by a process of elimination we can come to a better understanding of what she, in fact, was attempting. If, however, we only ever try to gain an understanding of Dickinson solely from her letters and poems, thanks to the distance we have from her (in time) and the reclusive nature of her life while she did live, we may never be able to make any real meaningful or lasting insights into her work (the current debate going on in critical circles about how we should even approach her work, i.e. original manuscripts vs. typed reproductions is one such debate that can have no resolution if we are unable to make connections about Dickinson to the larger literary world).

Emily Dickinson, as we know, worked exclusively in poetry and letters. She was under no technological inability to produce her vision, such as Lucas, nor was she slave to the strictures of a specific medium, like Adams. Poetry, one might well argue, is one of the most open and unrestricted of all art forms. And while Dickinson herself predates the Modernists and all they did to tear away much of the stagnant formality that poetry had been subject to for many years, her poetry is so vastly different in technique and voice from nearly everything that had come before, it seems apparent she was not afraid to write exactly how, and what, she wanted. We come back, then, to the fact that we can easily say Dickinson’s work with the fascicles was, in fact, her own exercise at self-editing. But as Franklin also points out, sometimes poems from the fascicles were sent to recipients first, as in the case of poem 18 “Morns like these we parted” before being transcribed into a fascicle (17). This would seem to indicate that, more than just a place to set out an intermediate “working” version, the fascicles also represented some form of benchmark at least on equal footing with submitting a poem to someone in a letter.

Furthermore, the relationship between the fascicle and letter versions of a poem is also something to consider. There has, at times, been a predilection in critical circles to favor fascicle forms of poems over letter forms. But as Messmer points out, the critical focus on the “...unauthorized’ fascicles all too easily tend to obscure the fact that her correspondence was indeed ‘authorized’ by the poet herself, if only for an alternative (‘private’) form of publication, that is, for circulation among friends and family”(184). And this argument would seem logical except for the fact that, often, Dickinson would send the same poem to multiple recipients, and each recipient would receive a variant form, such as with poem 579 “The soul unto itself.” Three separate versions of this poem exist, in fact, all written in 1863. Variants A and B were enclosed in letters to T.W. Higginson and Susan Dickinson (though the name “Sue” had been erased on the letter), and variant C was included in fascicle 25. To best make a comparison of variants A and B it is instructive to see them side by side:



A
The Soul unto itself
Is an imperial friend
Or the most agonizing Spy
An Enemy could send

Secure against it’s own
No treason it can fear
Itself it’s Sovreign of itself
The Soul should be in Awe

B
The Soul unto itself
Is an imperial friend -
Or the most agonizing Spy
An Enemy - could send -
Secure against it’s own -
No treason it can fear -
Itself - it’s Sovreign - Of itself
The Soul should stand it awe -


The two most immediate differences between both versions are the stanza break in the Higginson variant and the dashes included in the variant sent to Susan Dickinson. It is well known that Dickinson sent some poems to Higginson after he published the article “Letter to a Young Contributor,” in the April 1862 edition of Atlantic Monthly, and that while Higginson was generally complimentary toward Dickinson’s work he was critical of her form and structure (Ward 179-80). At the time that he received poem 579 Higginson was in command of a black regiment in South Carolina during the Civil War. It is, therefore, entirely possible that in the act of sending her friend a poem, one seemingly meant to uplift his spirit in a time of need, she consciously did away with any structural and format issues he would have disdained. Indeed, even with its method of capitalization and consciou spelling choice of the word “Sovreign,” variant A still appears more like a classical two stanza poem. Variant B embodies much more what we have come to expect from a Dickinson poem. (There are, of course, the dashes. Since, however, there has been countless pages in journals and books devoted to finding the exact reason for, and meaning of, the dashes. And they are of only tangential importance to this discussion it simply needs to be stated that they exist in one version and are absent in the other.) But if one looks deeper at the two variants, some marked and important differences become apparent.

The stanza break in variant A is of utmost importance in how one must necessarily approaches the poem. For good or ill many readers see a stanza break and unconsciously read the poem with a pause. Whether or not Higginson did such a thing is of less importance than the fact that he would look not only at the words, but also the structure of the poem, and realize that each stanza comprises a different, though complimentary, and free standing idea. Each stanza can exist on its own without the other. While the meaning of the first stanza, and its discussion of the dual nature of the human soul, is deepened by its relation to the second, one need not read the second stanza to make sense of the first. Accordingly, the second stanza, and its proclamation that the soul should be in awe of its own ‘sovreign’ty, is only heightened by the existence of the soul’s possible treason of the first stanza, but is not reliant on it. The break, in fact, makes these two ideas complimentary in such a way that is not accomplished in variant B, for in that version all the ideas are connected as one single strain of thought.

The other small but immensely significant difference is the variant word in the last line, “be” and “stand.” In version A, the line “The Soul should be in Awe” speaks of the soul as in a state of being; that it should exist in awe of itself or what it can accomplish. Whereas version B, “The Soul should stand in awe -” refers to the soul in a state of action; standing. Granted, it is a state of passive action, but to stand is a specific act one must take. Of course, in each instance the phrase is qualified by “should,” and so this is less a prescription than a supposition. But the difference in the two phrases is remarkably important for one cannot exist in any state without that state encompassing the individual entirely, while one can take a specific action without being in a specific state of existence. And not coincidently, the two recipients were in vastly different situations when receiving their respective versions of the poem. Higginson was in the middle of the bloodiest war known to American history leading an all black regiment (a fact that cannot be overstated). Susan Dickinson was a housewife. Higginson was existing is a specific state of being, and it seems that Dickinson was keenly aware of the import of what he was doing, and she had a definite idea about how he should see himself. For Susan, though, the poem takes on a reflective tone instructing the reader to “stand in awe” of those men, like Higginson, that were experiencing great loss and horror for the betterment of their country.

The third version of this poem, the one Dickinson enshrined in a fascicle seems, to be a compromise, or more precisely, a synthesis of both versions A and B.


A
The Soul unto itself
Is an imperial friend
Or the most agonizing Spy
An Enemy could send

Secure against it’s own
No treason it can fear
Itself it’s Sovreign of itself
The Soul should be in Awe


B
The Soul unto itself
Is an imperial friend -
Or the most agonizing Spy
An Enemy - could send -
Secure against it’s own -
No treason it can fear -
Itself - it’s Sovreign - Of itself
The Soul should stand it awe -


C
The Soul unto itself
Is an imperial friend -
Or the most agonizing Spy -
An Enemy - could send -

Secure against it’s own -
No treason it can fear -
Itself - it’s Sovreign - Of itself
The soul should stand in Awe -


Perhaps it is a false assumption, but as we know that versions A and B were meant for Higginson and Susan Dickinson respectively, it does not seem a huge leap to think of version C, the version that Dickinson copied into one of the fascicles, as the variant that Dickinson wanted for herself. Not surprisingly, version C uses the two stanza structure, with its emphasis on deepening meaning between the two parts, and also utilizes the dashes that Dickinson was so fond of. Most importantly, though, version C uses the B variant, the reflective variant, of the last line. This too would fall in line with the hypothesis that this version was Dickinson’s own preferred version, for she, like Susan, would stand in awe of the soul’s “sovreign” nature.

In some ways, though, the letters present a more complicated problem when trying to determine Dickinson’s motives for the variants. As Mitchell points out:

The letters to Bowles, for instance, are more reserved than those to her sister-in-law and close friend Susan Dickinson...It has been argued that the scraps bespeak a ‘comfort level’ with Susan that Dickinson could never feel with Higginson or Bowles. The very materiality of these different texts, then, has a meaning. But precisely how this meaning can be formulated is difficult to say. For some critics confidentiality enables Dickinson to be experimental. But perhaps it means the opposite (“Revising the Script: Emily Dickinson’s Manuscripts” 712).

And it seems rather obvious that a letter written to a close friend (i.e., Susan) would, of necessity, read and behave differently than a letter written to a mere acquaintance (even one whom she obviously admired, such as Higginson). And the letters sent to Susan, in particular, are interesting because “Emily’s writings to Susan expand from conventional letters to what Susan refers to as ‘letter-poems’ as she later compiles her book of Emily’s writings. These ‘letter-poems’ are letters that look and sound like poems; they are also poems addressed to Susan that read like letters or messages” (Hart 65). Even with these ‘letter-poems’ it seems that there is a deliberateness at work. If producing these ‘letter-poems’ were nothing more than an exercise or pastime, then why not produce them for more than a single recipient? On some level, though, that is the entire problem with Dickinson scholarship. Everything she did, not matter how great or small, can be challenged with a single word, why?

Perhaps, in answer to that larger underlying question, but specifically in regards to the question of variants, there are multiple ways to view everything Dickinson did. Mitchell suggests such a possibility (specifically in relation to poem 1671 “Take all away from me,” but it can be easily extrapolated to include variants):

One can read her indecision in different waysas a sign of a dynamic and innovative intelligence attuned to the nuances of meaning afforded by varieties...and deliberately experimenting with them; as an indication that Dickinson was never fully satisfied with the balance of the poem, which she reworked restlessly but fruitlessly to get right; or as a token of a more casual or impressionistic relationship to the lines...(Measures of Possibility 183).

It seems almost folly to assume Dickinson has only a “casual” relationship to any of the lines she produced. Certainly it is a possibility that cannot be completely disregarded, but to make such a statement would seem to drastically undervalue all she did in creating variants in the first place. Why produce variants at all then, and specifically variants intended for particular recipients such as poem 579, if one is not invested deeply with the poem. Accordingly, one must assume that there were poems Dickinson produced that she never “got right.” But the simple fact that she shared many of these poems with highly educated and respected people (Higginson and Bowles most prominently) would imply she had confidence in at least some of what she produced. So that leaves us with the conclusion that yes, in fact, the variant versions were purposeful and part of Dickinson’s method as an author. As Bushell affirms “...Dickinson allows space within the creative process for unintended meaning and that such a space, and such a meaning, is an integral part of creative composition” (26).

Of course, Dickinson openly resisted publishing, and as such left us, if we are completely honest, with only manuscript versions of all her work because she was never forced, in a rigid editorial environment, to make specific (and by publishing, what we would construe as binding) authorial choices. As an artist, Emily Dickinson was without parallel. Much of her power, though, may come from her specific desire (by not attempting to publish) to have no set version of her work. It seems that the ideas and themes related in the variant versions of “Tell all the truth but tell it slant -” and “I got so I could hear his name -” are oddly contradictory while simultaneously complimentary. And the connected relationship between the variant versions of “The Soul unto itself” simply cannot be ignored. Unfortunately for us, her specific intent will never be known for certain. And this, as any critic who has attempted to tackle Dickinson will attest, is the most frustrating, and engaging, aspect of her work.




Works Cited


Adams, Douglas. “A Guide to the Guide: Some unhelpful remarks from the author.” Introduction. The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide. By Douglas Adams. New York: Portland House, 1997.

Brett, Anwar. “George Lucas: Star Wars Episode III Interview.” 18 May 2005. BBC. 5 Dec. 2006 <_http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2005/05/18/george_lucas_star_wars_episode_iii interview.shtml>.

Bushell, Sally. “Meaning in Dickinson’s Manuscripts: Intending the Unintentional.” The Emily Dickinson Journal 14.1 (2005): 24-61.

Franklin, R. W., Ed. The Poems of Emily Dickinson: Variorum Edition. 3 Vols. Cambridge: Belknap Press, 1998.

Hart, Ellen Louise & Martha Nell Smith, Eds. Open Me Carefully: Emily Dickinson’s Intimate Letters to Susan Huntington Dickinson. Ashfield, Massachusetts: Paris Press, 1998.

Lacey, Liam. “Hitching their wagon to a phenom.” The Globe and Mail [Canada] 29 April 2005: R20.

Messmer, Marietta. A Vice for Voices: Reading Emily Dickinson’s Correspondence. Amherst: University of Massachusetts Press, 2001.

Mitchell, Domhnall. Measures of Possibility: Emily Dickinson’s Manuscripts. Amherst: University of Massachusetts Press, 2005.

—. “Revising the Script: Emily Dickinson’s Manuscripts.” American Literature 70 (1998): 705-737.

Monte, Steven. “Dickinson’s Searching Philology.” The Emily Dickinson Journal 12.2 (2003): 21-51.

Ward, Theodora. The Capsule of the Mind: Chapters in the Life of Emily Dickinson. Cambridge: Belknap Press, 1961.



Poem 292 – “I got so I could hear his name -”

I got so I could hear his name -
Without - Tremendous gain -
That Stop-sensation - on my Soul -
And Thunder - in the Room -

I got so I could walk across 5
That Angle in the floor,
Where he turned so, and I turned - how -
And all our Sinew tore -

I got so I could stir the Box -
In which his letters grew 10
Without that forcing, in my breath -
As Staples - driven through -

Could dimly recollect a Grace -
I think, they called it “God” -
Renowned to ease Extremity - 15
When Formula, had failed -

And shape my Hands -
Petition’s way,
Tho’ ignorant of a word
That Ordination - utters - 20

My Business - with the Cloud,
If any Power behind it, be,
Not subject to Despair -
It care - in some remoter way,
For so minute affair 25
As Misery -
Itself, too great, for interrupting - more -


1 hear] think - * take -
7 turned - how -] let go -
13 Grace] Force
15 to ease Extremity -] to stir - Extremity -
16 Formula, had failed -] Filament - had failed -
23 Not subject to] Supremer than - * Superior to -
27 great] vast

Excerpted from The Poems of Emily Dickinson: Variorum Edition, Edited by R.W. Franklin.

Friday, December 15, 2006

You Control the Galaxy

In honor of their new game, Lethal Alliance, Lucasarts has release the "Build your own Deathstar" site. Now you can put railings up so the emperor doesn't fall into the reactor. Or cover up that womprat sized exhaust port.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Chicken Fried Bacon!

My heart hurt just from watching the video.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfbTO0GlONU

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Yes, it has been a long time...

Since the cheese last communicated with his loyal subjects. And, as you may have well guessed, it in no way reflects how the cheese feels about the inhabitants of cheeselandia.

But, what can your benevolent overlord say? The duties associated with raising princess Isabella into what will one day be cheeselandia's greatest leader of all time take up a considerable amount of time. Coupled with the whole full time graduate school thing means the cheese has less and less time to do anything not related to bottles, diaper changes, or British Modern Literature.

Yes, it is a trying time in citadel tower. But as the cheese gazes on the sleeping forms of the princess and momma_cheese he realizes that, yes in fact, it is all worth it.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Degyte's Movie Explosion

Today the internet yielded a plethora of humorous videos. Well not so much a plethora as 2. Anyway I thought I would share the love with all the citizens of Cheeselandia.

The first is another video for Weird Al. This one a video for his Taylor Hicks Parody:



The second is a recut trailer for Mary Poppins.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Jumping off a bridge to coolness

Since every other geek driven website has this, I thought I would post it here as well. Behold the newest trailer for Spiderman 3. It definitely looks good. I have some concerns about a couple of things in it, but all in all a solid trailer.


Monday, October 30, 2006

Puffy Taco?

So I was a bit bored, and hungery. I'll be trying to hit this place some time this week. Lets see if I can complete this mission to the Puffy Taco

15693 Leffingwell Rd
Whittier, CA 90604
(562) 947-2250

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

One week...

...is all the cheese has left at miscellaneous advertising agency. With momma_cheese' impending return to her much higher paying job, the cheese is forced to stay at home with the princess.

The cheese isn't big on the whole "gender roles" thing; i.e. that certain things are intrinsically male or female. Honestly, anything that can be done by a man can probably be done by a woman, and vice versa.

But the thought of staying at home with the kid, while simultaneously a nice one for the extra princess time the cheese will get, also has quite a sting. Putting the whole financial burden for the family on momma_cheese' shoulders is not something the cheese is real hip to.

The job search has already begun. Hopefully the cheese can find something more lucrative than what he's currently doing, and hopefully he can find it quickly...

Friday, October 06, 2006

What the F@#%

Talk about engaging journalism...this story would make one sweet ass, and disturbing movie....hmmm, maybe the cheese should write it....

Thanks to Alan at the Poor Mojo Newswire for the tip. As always, well done PMJ, the cheese is humbled by your voracious web surfing....

It's gone south very quickly...

Well, game two has come and gone, and thanks to a few small, yet timely, mistakes by the Dodgers they find themselves down 2-0 in a best of five series. Suffice it to say, they have their backs against the wall.

There are a few reasons, though, to be hopeful. First and foremost, it isn't out of the realm of possibility that the Dodgers can win the next two at Chavez Ravine. The Dodgers had the second most home wins in the NL this year (49, just one behind, wouldn't you know it, the Mets). Also, Greg Maddux has been spectacular at home and he starts on Saturday. Secondly, coming back from a 2-0 deficit in the first round isn't that uncommon, just ask the numerous A's teams that have blown such a lead over the last decade. Lastly, the Dodgers have played much better when under pressure. After opening the second half 1-12 and seemingly at the brink of falling out of contention, they went on to win 19 of the next 21. Over the last two months of the season, when they could ill afford even three losses in a row, they had a MLB leading 41-19 record.

Nomar's hurt, the bullpen's in disarray (damn Joe Beimel!), and even fielding bunts seem to give the Dodgers trouble, but now is the time for the boys in blue to turn it up. Maybe it's just a die-hard fan's misplaced faith, but the cheese fully believes the Dodgers can pull this out...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Round One: Mets

Game 1 of the NLDS, bi-coastal edition, has come and gone and the boys in blue find themselves down a game. The Dodgers tallied more hits than the Mets (and more strikeouts), but not a whole lot of timely hitting. It was an odd game, though, with one play recording two outs at home, and Brad Penny coming in on relief and losing the game.

First off, let's look at that play in the 2nd. As far as the cheese can tell, and he had to watch the replay about 20 gagillion times because the Yankee-Tigers game was cancelled, there were four specific mistakes made:

1. Jeff Kent thought about tagging up. As soon as Martin hit that ball, it seemed apparent to the cheese that Shawn Green weren't catchin' it. Kent, for whatever reason, looked unsure and did not immediately leave second base, thus costing him a few seconds on his way to home.

2. Donnelly, the third base coach, either didn't see Drew right behind Kent, or didn't adequately signal the second runner. This seems to have led Drew to believe he should head home on the heels of Kent.

3. Drew had his head down while rounding third. Even if he did misread the sign as he rounded second, Drew could see how close he was to Kent, it might have occurred to him that maybe the go ahead sign was for the guy IN FRONT OF HIM, and maybe he should have looked up at the third base coach once he got there, but he didn't.

4. Kent attempted to slide into home. After rounding third Kent clearly looked up and saw Valentine fielding the cut-off and turning to throw home. It was evident he wouldn't beat the throw. Now Lo Duca's no pushover, but Kent's got like 5 inches and 50 pounds on him. One would think that Kent might try and take Lo Duca out, maybe knocking the ball loose in the process. Instead, he tries to finesse slide around the tag. What the fuck is that? He's not Juan Pierre for christ's sake, he's a 39 year old, slow, not very agile white guy. Run into the catcher already. Plus, if he had taken down Lo Duca, then very likely Drew would have scored anyway.


Now, about the whole "Brad Penny in relief thing." The cheese response to seeing Penny come out of the bullpen went something along the lines of "What the fuck is Grady Little thinking?" On the one hand, the cheese understands the rationale. Penny might not be able to pitch is a start situation, but he's possibly good for an inning or two so you throw him out there and hope he hits his spots. He does, after all, know what it takes to pitch, and win, in the playoffs. He was throwing hard, but got beat up a bit and took the loss.

Honestly, it was a pretty well played game. The Mets scored some runs on the longball, the Dodgers on the single and double. Tomorrow may go better, Kuo dominated this team just a few weeks back. And if the Dodgers can split the games in NY then the series is definitely still up for grabs.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

IT'S PLAYOFF TIME!!!!!

Thanks to a strong 9-1 finish over the last ten games the Dodgers ended the regular season with a solid 88-74 record. This gave the a tie with the Padres for the second best NL record, but thanks to continual beat downs at the hands of the Padres, the Dodgers had to console themselves with a wild-card berth as opposed to the NL West title. And while it may seem like splitting hairs, it really isn't.

Instead of playing the near dead Cardinals at home, the Dodgers are forced to travel to NY to face the Mets and their 97 regular season wins. The Mets, though, have been going through a bit of a psychological struggle. The loss of Pedro has certainly got to sting, and their remaining starters (this includes you, Tom Glavine!) haven't looked real great recently. They do have a very good bullpen, but Wagner has a career 7+ ERA in the post-season...

On the Dodgers side, Derek Lowe lives his life to pitch high pressure games, and he's been nearly unhittable over the last month so the timing is right for him to dominate again this October. Greg Maddux may be 40, but he's been pretty damn consistent for the Dodgers since coming over, Grady Little just has to keep a tight reign on his pitch count. Hong-Chi Kuo hasn't had a lot of starts, but NY is susceptible to lefties, and so far Kuo's delivered. That leaves Brad Penny and his aching back. Penny's had a +6 ERA since starting the All-Star Game, but he also has a world series ring that he got by beating the Yankees twice in the span of a week and a half...

Offensively, the Mets would seem to have the upperhand, what with the all the homeruns they hit (and they play in a pitcher's park) and bases they steal. But the Dodgers lead the senior circuit in OBP and team batting average. Plus, Furcal, Lofton, Lugo and Repko give the Dodgers sufficient speed. So while the boys in blue put up runs by whittling you away, the Mets just slug teams into submission...

All in all, it seems a bit of a draw, though the records are different. The cheese predicts (fingers crossed) the Dodgers win in 5...

Friday, September 29, 2006

Something that has bothered the cheese all week...

Last weekend, momma_cheese was a bride's maid in a wedding. Naturally the entire cheese clan was in attendance. What made this particular wedding interesting, though, is the fact that the bride is a friend of momma_cheese' from high school, and as one might imagine, a number of people were in attendance that the cheese had not seen since the Centennial days.

One of these people, in fact, was a guy we will refer to as "unnamed male classmate." Well it so happens that unnamed male classmates still lives in Crown Town. He is, in fact, now an officer on Corona PD (sidenote: the groom is also a cop in Corona, though he attended high school in Riverside). So at one point the cheese finds himself in the restroom with unnamed male classmate, and is asked the question "What have you been up to."

"Graduate school, getting an MA in English and MFA in Creative Writing," responds the cheese.

"You gonna write for the Press-Enterprise or what?"

Let's stop here for just one moment and reflect on this question. First off, the Riverside Press-Enterprise is THE WORST metropolitan paper in all of California, and possibly the country. If the horizon of your imagination only goes so far as to equate the Press-Enterprise with an MFA in Creative Writing, then clearly you are a person to be ignored. Sadly, the cheese did not, at this point, turn his back on unnamed male classmate...

"Uh, no...We'd still be living in San Francisco, actually, if not for grad. school."

"San Francisco?"

"Yeah, we lived there for five years."

"Aren't there a lot of homo's there?"

At this point the cheese had to force down the impulse to ask unnamed male classmate if he were functionally retarded....or respond with "no, everything you've heard about the City is false, I never met one homo when I was there, but it's crawling with dykes"....or simply ripping out unnamed male classmate's eye. This came from a guy you still lives in, and works on the police force of, the city he was born and raised in. If this is what happens when someone stays close to their "roots" the cheese is forcing all of his kids to move at least 1000 miles away from home for college, or better yet, he'll ship them all overseas cause there aren't any "homo's" in Europe...

Is the cheese trying to get fired?

Possibly...the following is an e-mail that was sent out company wide by the new HR manager at the cheese' current place of employment (the typos have been left in intentionally):

From: Misc. HR Manager
Sent: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 2:47 PM
To: Misc. Employees
Subject: Miscellaneous Advertising Agency Newsletter Games

Hello everyone,

I am currently working on the Miscellaneous Advertising Agency newsletter and will be adding some fun games to be play in the newsletter. The October issues is going to have an Miscellaneous Advertising Agency game based on employees. I would appreciate your help in creating the game by answering the following questions and returning your answers to me by this Friday, September 29th.

Questions.

1. List one thing people don't know about you.

2. List one guilty pleasure (keep it clean) that you have.

3. What is your favorite office snack?

4. Where was your last vacation?

5. Please list the types of pets you have and their names.

6. What is the best OR worst Halloween costume you have ever worn?

7. List one thing that scares you.

8. What is your least favorite food?

9. What do you want for Christmas this year?

10. What is your favorite candy?

Thanks everyone.

Misc. Female Name
HR Manager
Miscellaneous Advertising Agency
xxx-xxx-xx77 x229 (office)
xxx-xxx-xx65 (fax)
MFemaleName@MiscellaneousAdvertisingAgency.net




And here follows the cheese's responses to said questions:



1. I am the semi-benevolent over-lord of a planet that resides in another plane of existence.

2. Allowing rebellions to go on long enough that those involved believe they have a real possibility of pulling me from my throne before I crush them under my mighty fist of oppression.

3. The souls of non-believers.

4. To ensure the continuance of my reign I have not the leisure of taking vacations.

5. Three-headed dog named Cerberus.

6. I do not participate in this “Holy Day” know as Halloween as it would sully my dignity and grandeur.

7. An armed and organized populous.

8. In order that my reign last forever I have forgone the ingestion of food and now subsist on hourly injections of a secret “elixir” that my royal alchemist devised.

9. Santa Claus is currently imprisoned in my dungeon and will grant me whatever I wish…or he’ll pay dearly!

10. Candy is simply an opiate of the masses that I use to control the minds of young children.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Disgusting, absolutely disgusting!

The cheese is going to, from this point forward, completely strip the use of the word LIKE from his vocabulary. While sitting in one of his GRADUATE level English classes yesterday evening he heard a fellow student use the word 32 times in 63 seconds. Clearly, the state of education in this country has sunk to some abyssal, hell-like level when such a thing can occur and said student is not verbally reduced to tears by the professor or the other students.

“You know” is also being retired…you know?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

It's a good show, alright!

Let it not be said that the cheese is prejudiced against certain types, or genres if you will, of entertainment. Right now on his laptop are mp3's from The Roots, The Descendents, Nelly Furtado, The Chieftains, and about 130 more hours fairly eclectic listening fair (except for country...other than Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard the cheese can do without country).

That being said, the cheese will now admit that for the last three years he has faithfully watched Gilmore Girls. And at this point dear reader, you're asking yourself just how gay is the cheese? Well that's some attitude mister! First of all, let us blame momma_cheese for getting the Gilmore Girls to become a part of the cheese family's weekly watching habits. But, you know what, it's a pretty damn enjoyable show. The cheese is not in the least embarrassed to say that he was fairly anxious about the season premiere last night.

Look, the cheese doesn't feel the need to actually justify his viewing habits, however, let's take a look at some of the show's good points:

1. Hot chicks - the cheese has long said that attractive women should not be a reason to watch a show/movie because every single thing produced in Hollywood contains attractive women. However, Lauren Graham is one of the cutest damn women to ever walk god's green earth, and the character she plays only emphasizes said cuteness. Also, Alexis Bleidel has blossomed into a stunning young woman before the audience's eyes.

2. Writing - line for line, no show throws out more pop culture references in so short a time. The average script for an episode of Gilmore Girls must be at least twice as long as any other hour long drama because everyone talks so fast. You'd think it gets annoying, but once you've become acclimated to the Starshollow vernacular, it's like you've been accepted into an exclusive club.

3. Characters - sometimes, too many "quirky" characters can make a show just too damn stupid. Sometimes, however, for whatever reason, it just works. Gilmore Girls has such an odd collection of characters, but it works.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

The cheese will gladly take credit...thank you very much!

Many times on this forum has the cheese extolled the virtues of one Veronica Mars (mmm...Kristin Bell), and he will continue to do so until he is planted firmly in the cold, cold ground...but it is good to see that others have followed suit.

And if memory serves (though, with the sleep deprivation and all, it may, in fact, not serve) the cheese believes he was the one to urge Mojo to join the Cult of Mars.

Don't Forget


Don't forget to go out and pick up your copy of "Straight Outta Lynwood" in stores now.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Yeah....Nay?

While the Official Seal Generator is, of course, a fairly interesting and fun way for one to waste some time at work, it has dawned on your benevolent overlord that there is a serious lack of cheese related images....



Thursday, September 21, 2006

Operation "Insert Nose Into Blaylock's Ass" Has Commenced

Yesterday, whilst taking part in his weekly fiction writing workshop, the cheese had the sheer dumb fortune to make a comment that was simultaneously 1) in complete disagreement with the rest of the class and 2) in total agreement with Blaylock. Luckily, the cheese made this comment before Blaylock did, so it did not seem as if the cheese were merely "kissing up," if you will.

Next week, though, will be the real test as the cheese submitted the first pages of The Chronicles: The Sequel for next weeks workshop. Sadly, the cheese thought of some changes that are needed to said pages after he had already turned them in. Ah well, hopefully The Man does not rip on the cheese too much...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

It's finally happened.

The cheese has started toiling away on The Chronicles: The Sequel. Just so there is no confusion, however, be advised that the new book is not a straight sequel to The Chronicles...though there may be a few cameos, if you will, by those gracing the pages of said book.

But wait a second, the cheese, aren't you still working on The Chronicles? the cheese hears you wonder. Well, yes good citizen, the cheese has yet to finish them. Though he slowly gets closer every now and then, the real issue is time. Apparently, even though he has tried mightily, the cheese cannot create more time. There is a finite amount of it available every week, and a lot of it is already used up.

So why start The Chronicles: The Sequel? Well, the cheese had little choice as the man/myth/legend Blaylock advised the cheese that A) the Chronicles were already too large to submit as a thesis project, and B) only submitting a portion of them wouldn't really help the cheese out much. So The Sequel has begun.

As an interesting sidenote this morning (oh, at 2 AM or so) momma_cheese came up with a damn good idea for The Chronicles: The Third Times a Charm...which the cheese family may begin collaborating on shortly...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

white and nerdy video

This is probably one of the funniest videos Al has ever done. Man, I can't wait until next tuesday.


Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Not getting the point, or "RE: website inquiry"

"Thank you for sharing your passion and ideas regarding The Wheel of Time.

We are hard at work at bringing The Wheel of Time to the big screen as a feature film presentation. We are striving for a production that will bring to life a well-known and beloved epic, while at the same time, will also reach out to a global audience of new fans who have not yet have the opportunity to share in The Wheel of Time experience.

We appreciate hearing from you!

Sincerely,

Red Eagle Entertainment"



Maybe they'll get Jamie Foxx to play Rand, Halle Berry for Moiraine and Paris Hilton can play Elayne!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Something we are all, no doubt, worried about...

Because, apparently, he has nothing better to do at work...the cheese' alter-ego sent the following letter off this morning...links are included to help the reader:



"Dear Red Eagle Entertainment LLC,

Please, please, please, for the love of god, PLEASE do not attempt to turn the Wheel of Time series, or any of the books contained therein, into a motion picture.

No doubt you are working, at this very moment, on doing just that. Spurred on by the success of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Harry Potter series, and the first installment in the Chronicles of Narnia, you undoubtedly see the Wheel of Time as a veritable "cash cow" thanks to Hollywood's newfound love of all things "fantasy."

But this lone fan implores you to resist the temptation from that whore known as the film industry. For every recent successful fantasy franchise, Hollywood has produced 10 Dungeons and Dragons. The Wheel of Time is a universe loved by countless fans across the globe and deserves something better than a watered down story starring a Wayans brother.

Hollywood's poor track record with fantasy media notwithstanding, the sheer immensity of the Wheel of Time does not lend itself to the silver screen. At last count the series contained over 1800 named characters over the course of 11 main books and one prequel. When translating a piece of work into a new media there are unavoidable changes that must be made, but to take a story containing nearly 2000 different characters and then dilute it enough to make it digestible for the mass movie going audience would be nothing short of criminal.

If you are so unwavering in your desire to a see a live action version of Robert Jordan's masterpiece, then please consider the small screen. Likely television is not nearly as lucrative an endeavor as a feature length film, but a multi-year series would allow the story to be told in as faithful (to the original work) a way as possible.

Of course, I freely admit to knowing little to nothing about how one might produce a film or television series. Essentially, I'm talking out of "my ass," but my message comes with the utmost sincerity. Please take care of this universe that so many of us know and love.

james"

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The national anthem of Cheeselandia

I would like to submit this song as the national anthem of the land of cheese. In order to hear the right song make sure you click on the "white nerdy weird al" song otherwise you'll end up hearing some gansta rap.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

And so it has begun…again.

Yesterday saw the beginning of the second year on the cheese' road to two master's degrees. Here is, for your consideration, the cheese' reading list for the semester…which seems a bit light, thankfully.

Eng. 520 – Early 19th Century American Lit. (Overall, the cheese is not overjoyed about this class, but it worked for his schedule and the professor is fairly rockin')

Nature and Selected Essays Emerson (the cheese is fairly indifferent toward Ralph Waldo Emerson

House of the Seven Gables – Hawthorne (the cheese believes this book is briefly mentioned in Ed Norton's first movie…but has no further information)

Moby Dick Melville (quite dreading this one, actually…the cheese attempted to read it once and nearly bored himself, literally, to death

Sovereignty and the Goodness of God Rowlandson (the title does not endear itself unto the cheese)

Slave Narratives Andrews (Yeah! Down with Whitey!)

And the ever present course reader...chock full of 200 years of American Lit!

Eng. 536 – Modern British Lit. (The cheese hasn't had this professor yet, but first impressions are favorable, and it's a subject of great interest unto the cheese)

The Secret Agent – Conrad (already started this one, and surprisingly, it reads very similarly to Pratchett or Gaiman…which, as we all know, is right up the cheese' alley)

Dubliners – Joyce (read Portrait of an Artist…as an undergrad and enjoyed it, so this should be decent)

The Good Soldier – Ford Madox Ford (this guy's name is actually Ford Madox Ford…seriously!)

Heartbreak House – Shaw (meh)

Selected Short Stories/Snake and Other Poems – Lawrence (double meh)

To the Lighthouse – Woolf (WORST NOVEL EVER WRITTEN IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, HANDS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats – Yeats (stupid poetry!)

Vile Bodies – Waugh (no clue about this one, but the title sure is promising…)

Molloy – Beckett (a novel originally written in French, by an Irishman, then translated to English…make what you will of that)

Four Quartets – Eliot (Finally! A professor that actually wants to teach Eliot's greatest work…and the really great thing about Eliot is that he's taught in both American and British Modern lit…of course in American the text was The Wasteland…which is a much more "American" poem than Four Quartets"


Eng. 503 – Techniques in Writing

No required reading, apparently, which seems a bit odd. Anyway, this course will officially begin "Operation Ingratiate Oneself into the Good Graces of Professor Blaylock" which was about 90% of the reason the cheese wanted to go to his particular graduate school.

Friday, August 25, 2006

A little breath of sanity...

It seems a constant theme of late; depression.

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation. Maybe it's the constant stress and anxiety that's part and parcel of having a three week old infant. Maybe it's the pending return to graduate school, now with three classes instead of two! Maybe it's the soul sucking job at miscellaneous advertising agency. Or maybe it's some sort of demonic curse placed upon him by his enemies.

Whatever the reason, the cheese has entered into a definite "funk" of some kind. Where can your generous overlord turn to stem the seemingly overwhelming tide of suicidal thoughts...why Penny Arcade of course!





But what are the odds of rolling two 20's in a row for a successful dive/roll/attack where your opponent ends up in four even pieces from the damage done by your two powerful blades? Well, what it is?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Yo, Yo Check This


The official minstral for the dukedom of Degyte has been gracious enough to release the single from his upcoming album. You can download and listen to it here. He has also released the video for this song as well. I can't wait for this album to come out. In the meantime, check out the album cover.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

You don't get to choose which ones you want to keep.


For regular readers here this will come as no surprise. The cheese is a liberal. Actually, he hates that term. Since Fox News and other right leaning media have co-opted the term, the cheese no longer believes it has the same meaning it once did, and has, for many years, called himself progressive instead. The cheese is a registered member of the Green Party. During that illegal re-call election we had out here in California the cheese voted for Peter Camejo for godsakes! The cheese is pro-choice, anti-drug war, anti-immigration laws, etc.


But here's the thing. All of the cheese' political/philosophical opinions stem from a belief that the Bill of Rights is what this country is all about. It is, in the cheese' humble opinion, the foundation on which this country is built. And the really crap thing about it is, people like to pick and choose which parts of it they feel are more important that others, but that's just not the way it works.
There are a lot of people who tend to think that the 2nd amendment needs to be protected above all others. Now, certainly the intention of the framers is an important point to consider, but so to is timeliness. This thing was written at a time when the country had just fought a bloody war for independence, and your ordinary farmer could take up a musket and defend his country with the career soldier. But today, if some rogue general were to declare a coup, your home arsenal of handguns and shotguns wouldn't do a whole lot against that tank rolling over your house (but what about automatic weapons available to ordinary citizens you ask, not doing much against that f-16 homeslice!). So even though, in his world, the cheese would destroy all guns, rockets, bombs, etc (let's get back to the days of swords and mounted cav, damnit!) he can't really argue this one too much. It's right there! Guns are in. He has no problem with gun control. No matter what anyone says, an AK-47 is NOT a hunting rifle! But the guns are in.

Also, some like to take the 1st amendment, and chop it up, putting more value on freedom of speech than on freedom of religion.

This article, for instance, really infuriates the cheese. At first glance it seems like, hey, this church is discriminating. They won't allow this woman to teach because she's a woman. And if this were, say, a public school, clearly this is discrimination. But we're talking about a church here, and how this particular church interprets it's own holy text. In a way, these individuals, who have come together to form this church, are simply expressing their beliefs, which is a form of freedom of speech. It's not a coincidence that the framers put speech and religion together in the same amendment. So which freedom trumps here? The woman's freedom to keep her job, or the church's freedom to act in accordance with it's beliefs? Unless this church happened to believe (and practice) virgin sacrifice, the cheese has to say the church because the woman is free to go find another church.

Look people, you can't pick and choose the Bill of Rights. Whether or not you "like" something protected by one of them, they're all here for a reason.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Degyte's Demovie Dereviews

Over the weekend, Tengu and I witnessed a masterpiece, Snakes on a Plane. Now I know many of your were/are skeptical of this fine feature film. I am here to alleviate those doubts.

Now granted, you have to suspend some reality to really appreciate this flick. Mostly you need to not get hung up on the particulars of how and why the snakes are on the plane. Once the snakes get out and start killing people, the movie really comes into it’s own. It is very much like any disaster film even down to the stereotypical characters on the plane(stewardess on her last flight, man scared to fly, urban streetwise gangstas, etc.). Where this film shines is in the absurdity of the whole thing. Rather than scream or cringe at the many gruesome deaths, the audience is left chuckling and laughing because they are so over the top. I won’t detail them here in case anyone is moved to watch this film.

The performances are corny and a little silly but all done with a wink at the audience like the rest of the movie. It’s a movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Overall I recommend this movie.

Also I wanted to point you all to the best show none of you are probably watching:

Metalocalypse.

It’s new show on Cartoon Network’s Adult swim. It is about the world’s most popular metal band Dethklok and all of their adventures. If you are a fan of metal or just a fan of humor I can’t recommend this show enough. Their mission is to do everything the darkest most metal way. Including coffee commercials, recording at the deepest part of the ocean and birthday parties. If you don’t get Cartoon Network, you can find the shows on You Tube. Here is a brief clip:

Friday, August 18, 2006

This Post: Not Work Friendly

Don't think it's because the cheese is going to post illicit pictures of females...although...no...it's because he should probably not be typing this from work.

As many of you know the cheese has spent the last three months toiling at miscellaneous advertising agency. Now, this is a fairly small company, something along the lines of 40 employees. Today, the cheese was informed that one of the Account Executives would be leaving next week. This is just the latest in a rash of employees leaving said company. The cheese doesn't posses a degree in business, but it can't be good when, over the course of 4 weeks, nearly 30 percent of a company's employees either leave or quit...

Could the cheese be next?

Sure...what with his rampant use of the internets...but when one is going on no sleep, and has to stare at ads all day, one needs to break up the monotony.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Two unrelated itmes...

While perusing various news sites today, the cheese happened upon two items of interest.

The first involves a family so involved in "defeating demons" that all ten of them must chant and pray all night. Well, that's certainly their right to try, except that they live in an apartment tower. If the cheese lived there, they'd be gettin' a heapin' helpin' of "demonic" action against them...mostly in the form of petty vandalism and threats.

The second is about a guy suing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. No, it's not because of their stupid name. Apparantly, on Mother's Day 2005 the team gave away tote bags to all females in attendance to that days game. The guy claims it was discrimination against men. Really?! Is this what it's come to? All those years good people fought real racism and discrimination and now some guy can sue a business because he doesn't have a vagina on Mother's day? See why the cheese hates the OC?

Sunday, August 13, 2006

The Baseball Season Has Officially Opened...again

Just when he thought there was nothing left in the ol' Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles, they turn around and win 13 of 14 going from 7 1/2 game out, to 1 1/2 games in first place of the NL West.

Tonight even saw Russell Martin hit a walk off homer in the 10th off the Giants...if they can keep it up for a couple more weeks, the boys in blue will be back in the post season...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

R.I.P Albus Dumbledore

I hate to bump the pictures of the newest and most precious citizen of cheeselandia but I think the cheese would approve this interesting post. It appears that dumbledore is in fact actually dead and will not be "doing a Gandalf" in the last book. Rowling recently put this rumor to rest a charity reading event in New York last week. You can find a transcript of the Q & A here.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Bask in her glory

Behold the splendor of Cheeselandia's one day ruler, Princess Isabella Kathleen, Defender of the Realm, Blessed of Light, First Daughter of House Cheese:



Thursday, August 03, 2006

Vader being a jerk

Leave it to the guys at penny arcade to point you in the direction of hilarious videos. Check this one out.

A quick update faithful cheeselandians

A hearty welcome to the cheese' close(?) friend j_pyle who will update us all later tonight on the impending birth of our one day ruler Princess Isabella...

Monday, July 31, 2006

Cool Jedi Powers

This has got to be one of the coolest videos of Jedi ever created. This is a tech demo that was shown at this year's E3 for an unannounced starwars game. I can't quite figure out the era though. It is either between ep.3 and 4 or post 4. Although being a tech demo it may not relate to any specific game or era. Anyway check it out here.

I recommend viewing the larger format. There is a lot of detail that can be missed.

Friday, July 28, 2006

And you wonder why the cheese loves San Francisco?

Aside from the mild climate one gets from being surrounded by water on three sides (and it's really only foggy in the Sunset and Richmond...well, mostly the Sunset and Richmond), and the general "urbanness," the city (and by city the cheese means, city government) tends to do stuff like this more often than most other places.

Movie Reviews

Monster House

The cheese and momma cheese decided to spend the sweltering late Sunday afternoon in the comfort of a large environment controlled box and headed down to the local googleplex. The nearest starting film was Monster House, which momma cheese wanted to see anyway, and we quickly ushered our way into theatre. Overall, the cheese is getting sick of all the cg animated films being produced (sidenote: just because you're "famous" does not mean you are entitled to voice a character in a cg film, that's right Martin Lawrence, the cheese is talking to you!) but this one was actually quite good. It wasn't the greatest thing ever, it ran a fairly predictable plot. From about the 5th second it's evident that the supposed "bad guy" is not, in fact, "bad." But the animation is in a more realistic style than, say, Pixar, though not like that crappy Final Fantasy film. More importantly, the three main characters (which are kids) are pretty realized (well, maybe not Chowder). Some of the sequences at the end are actually pretty inventive, when the house starts to "go crazy." Plus, the voice cameos are actually done well (i.e. they're understated). Overall, the cheese rates Monster House at a solid B-.

Clerks II

Last night the cheese finally made his way to see the new Kevin Smith offering. Look, the cheese loves Kevin Smith. In fact, the cheese is even willing to defend Jersey Girl. And on one level, Clerks II delivered pretty much what was expected. Gratuitous cock and pussy jokes, offensive matter, and beastiality. On another level, though, the cheese wonders whether or not Kevin Smith isn't running out of material. The concept of looking at Dante and Randall ten years on is a good one. But the execution seemed lacking. In much the same way as Jay and Silent Bob, the cheese wonders if a Clerks sequel wasn't better as an idea. Remember after Dogma when everyone thought that a Jay and Silent Bob movie would be the greatest thing since Jesus, and then it came out and it was good, but not exactly great. Same thing here (sidenote: the parts of Clerks II with Jay and Silent Bob made the cheese wish for a Jay and Silent Bob movie, until he remembered it was already made). Parts of Clerks II were inspired, but unlike, say Dogma or Chasing Amy, it had a lot of down time, and was the donkey show really necessary. The cheese doesn't object on the ground of content, but rather, it seemed a bit forced. Nice turn on the "Kelly" thing, but overall that whole sequence seemed forced. The film did have a satisfying ending, in that Dante and Randall, as characters, now have some closure. But, where the hell was Justice? Are you honestly telling me that Jay would let her get away? Come on! Either way, Mr. Smith needs to do something like Dogma next. Something that incorporates his "style" without over powering the plot. Final rating B-.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Stephen Colbert: God Among Men

It's a struggle to stay up until midnight now that the cheese is a bit older, and most nights he is not up to the task. Such golden pieces of infotainment are, therefore, inevitably missed. Thank god for the internet.








A small part of the cheese now wishes he could move to Florida to vote for Wexler and his huge testicles.

A Call to Arms

Ho there loyal citizens of Cheeselandia,

Your benevolent overlord is coming to you, faithful followers, and asking for your assistance. It has been nigh on two years since the big cheese began, and yet we are still wallowing in the murky and uninspired format of the blogspot default layout. The cheese has not the time to invest in redesigning the domain, and so it is up to you to help bring about the proper majesty befitting our realm. The cheese has full faith in you citizens, make him proud!




As an aside, that may have been the first time we had two posts up at the same time...Sorry Jezmon, the cheese wanted this on top for a bit...

Simpsons Movie Footage

They showed some footage of the new Simpsons movie over the weekend at Comic Con. Someone was nice enough to put this footage on You Tube. There are 2 different clips. You can check it out here or here.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Lance Bass is gay: nobody cares.

Look, all those 12 year old girls that swooned over N'Sync are now way too old to give a shit. And now he's developing a sit-com pilot where he plays, wait for it....a gay guy! Holy shit! He's a genius! No's done that since Will and Grace ended two months ago.

The baseball season is officially over!

What's that? Wasn't the All-Star game played just two weeks ago? Doesn't the regular season end in September?

Technically.

Yes.

But if you're a true red-blooded citizen of cheeselandia, then for you the baseball season is over because the Dodgers have now lost 7 straight, and 12 of 13 since the mid-summer classic. They sit 6 1/2 games out of first in the NL West, and the only positive thing to have occurred recently is that Odalis Perez was traded (for a pitcher the Dodgers RELEASED at the end of last season).

So now that the Dodgers have no real hope of making the post-season, yet again, we can all turn our collective attention toward Liverpool's title challenge in the Premiership during the upcoming season.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Lego DIY

I got this in my email and had to share it with all of you. Lego now allows you to make your own kits and models. All you have to do is download their builder program. Then design whatever you want(within reason) and upload and purchase the blocks necessary to build your design. You can even design your own box and instructions. Anyway you can check it all out here.

Adidas is back, baby!

After a 10 year affair with Reebok, Liverpool have come back to their true love, Adidas. The new jerseys are, in the cheese' humble opinion, f*****g awesome! He's even willing to overlook the collar on the home kit because the stripes adorning the shirt, shorts and socks is pretty much the best thing ever. The keeper's away kit is quite sweet as well. But what's the best of all you ask? The European away kit...it's enough to give the cheese a sportsgasm!

And it's still slow at work...

Once the cheese leads his army out of the wastes of cheeselandia to smother the worlds superpowers in a thick gooey coating of melted cheddar, he will abolish all meaningless and soul sucking occupations, such as they are.

Until that day, however, the cheese is forced to wile away the hours traipsing through the daisy patch we all know as "the internet."

It may be illegal to post copyrighted content here, but something tells the cheese that:

1. not enough people read this to care
2. the owners will no doubt feel little (if any) anger or competition from the cheese
3. since it is readily accessible, it's probably cool

So, thanks Tycho and Gabe, your archive is like walking into a candy store blind and randomly grabbing the first thing your grubby hand clenches. But thankfully, all the shite stuff like candy corn has been removed from said store...


Monday, July 24, 2006

Someone doesn't like being called out...

But at least it got her to accept the invitation...so everyone take a moment to welcome our newest member in your hearts and minds. Just two more to go...

And even though she doesn't need the advertising (just take a look at the number of comments on her posts) the cheese is taking this moment to spotlight The Hot Librarian, who he hears is pretty hot.

Fallen

ABC Family is not a station normally on view in the cheese household, though with the impending birth of the princess, it may soon become a "favorite." Last night, though, was one of those rare occasions when it was intentionally watched because of the made for TV movie Fallen.

Basically, it was the story of a Nephalim, the supposed offspring of an angel and human, who would fulfill some prophecy to do something, blah, blah, blah.

For a made for TV movie on a fourth rate station it was actually pretty decent. The opening fight scene may have been the best part (for a movie about angels there wasn't a whole lot of flaming sword fights), but overall it was fairly compelling. Momma cheese wondered if this wasn't the lead in to a new series, and once the credits ended, in fact, a preview ran of a six hour mini-series continuing this story that will air in the summer of 2007?! Why even show this one if the audience has to wait another year for the next installment? This isn't a motion picture release people! The TV audience doesn't have a long memory. No doubt when the next part airs the cheese will miss it, and then curse the executives at ABC Family for showing each part a year removed from each other.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Word Verification is On

Spread the word...ANYONE CAN COMMENT!!! Not that anyone reads this thing. And there's still a few people who have been extended member invites and not responded. The cheese won't mention any names...Kerri, Leroy and Bridget...but you know who you are!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Congratulations

Since Jezmon and exsulis have actually taken an interest in posting on the blog, the cheese has decreed that they are now administrators. Be nice or they could kick your ass out of the land of the cheese!

9-26-06


The time is coming. Best prepare yourselves as best you can. For what? For this.

Further evidence that one day Earth will look like the world of Shadowrun

Spinons and holons, theoretically believed to exist for awhile, have now been directly observed. Bring on the nanotech implants!

We're like bona fide and shit!

Big ups to Jezmon.

His post on Harry Potter was picked up by the Poor Mojo Newswire, whose readership is quite higher than ours.

Thanks for the shout out Mojo. By the by, if you're still reading this send the cheese an e-mail as he can't seem to locate your electronic mail address.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Lest ye faithful followers think the cheese has abandoned his quest...

Here are a few random quotes from The Chronicles Part III

--The upshot of this, though, was that Lawrence became fully aware of the angels and released a squeal not unlike that of a teenage girl watching a horror film before shouting “Oh Christ, angels are coming to kill us!”

--Grisenweld nodded and extended his hand, “Well, it has been my pleasure Michael of the Host. You are by far the least annoying angel I have ever met.”

--Either something was going to happen with it, or it wouldn’t. Either proposition appealed to Pyle with only a pedestrian amount of enthusiasm.

--Having not eaten The Entity’s cooking in quite some time, Cransenslaus’ eyebrows piqued up at the mention of the impending SoufflĂ©.

J.K. Rowling the next Dickens or Conan Doyle??

I don't know how true the above statement is but James Krasner(expert in British Victorian lit.) draws a few comparisons. He puts in his 2 cents about who is going to die in the last Harry Potter book. He also backs up a theory put forward by our own Suavo and the almighty Cheese.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Those Italians Don't Mess Around or It's Horribly Slow at Work Today

Something that the cheese didn't talk about much during the world cup was the on going "match fixing" scandal in Italy. There were three reasons for this: it was still an ongoing investigation, the cheese didn't think Italy would win it all and the cheese doubted anything would come of it.

Oh how the cheese did underestimated those Italian investigators!

Juventes, Lazio and Fiorentina were all dropped from Serie A to Serie B (and given 30, 12, and 7 point penalties respectively), and AC Milan was given a 15 point penalty to start the season and denied taking place in any European competitions.

The cheese will pause at this point to explain a few things.

First off, unlike in American sports, when you play badly in European Football you pay, and not just by attracting less fans. It differs for each country/league, but basically the two or three worst teams, at the end of the season, drop down into a lower league the following year (with a corresponding number of teams being promoted from below).

Juventes have won the Italian Serie A title 29 times (sidenote: their last two title were stripped in the sentence so now it's 27) and never, since the club's creation in 1897, played below the top tier. Add to that the 30 point penalty assessed them (that means they have to win 10 games, out of 40, just to get to zero) and they probably won't get promoted next season.

This whole thing is basically like Major League Baseball forcing the Yankees, Orioles and A's to play in AAA next year, and then assessing the Yankees 30 losses to start the season.

13 of the 29 players from Italy's World Cup squad are currently on the Juventes roster. No doubt most of those players will be leaving the club to play in the top flight of other countries, making it that much harder for Juve to make it back to Serie A.

It's a really surprising decision, in that it actually punished these teams (sidenote: no players have been implicated, only club officials and refs). No one knows exactly how organized crime figures into various parts of European football, but it's nice to see justice done in this case. That is, of course, unless the sentencing is overturned on appeal...